LIVE LOVE.

Scripture+Post Rock=Love

2010-11-17T07:04:00.001-08:00

This morning I just kind of stumbled upon a fresh way to read the Bible. If you're anything like me, faithfulness to reading scripture daily can sometimes be difficult. This method caught me by surprise and made my time in Luke 14 sincerely dynamic. Here's how it works...

1. Visit www.esvonline.org. Here you'll find a user-friendly site and one of my favorite translations: the English Standard Version.
2. Enter your passage for the day.
3. Now open itunes and find your favorite post-rock band. (explosions in the sky, this will destroy you, sigur ros, mogwai, etc..) Today I chose, This Will Destroy You, a delightful band from San Marcos, Texas pictured to the right.
4. Hit play in itunes. Adjust music to background levels.
5. Click back on your browser and click the listen tab above the selected verses of scripture that you're in for the day. (The man's voice is American English and is not obnoxious, thank goodness!)
6. Now sit back and enjoy or read along as scripture and music mingle together.

That's it. I like this method, at least today, because it mixes auditory and visual learning as well as awakening that part of my brain that works through things creatively, hopefully employing both left and right regions of my brain simultaneously. Either way, its enjoyable. I would personally advocate for music without words. So if its Mozart or Dead Mau5 or Derek Webb's new Feedback record its great, just don't let the music get in the way of the words God has for you. Enjoy!

Live Love.

Veritas Forums

2010-11-07T20:32:00.000-08:00

I'm a big fan of the University of California Berkeley Veritas Forums these days. They feature some really great communicators who possess brilliant minds. Here are a couple that I've deeply enjoyed from two of my favorite Christian thinkers. Enjoy.

Everybody wants to change the world, but nobody wants to die.

2010-11-03T08:14:00.001-07:00

Change is a fascinating thing. On one hand, change is always happening. Our bodies growing older, stronger, weaker, fatter. Our relationships deepening, stagnating, falling apart. It is true that change is inevitable, and yet all of us on some day or another find ourselves wishing we could change the world.

Yesterday was yet another day of change in America. Republicans gained a multitude of spots in the House of Representatives. Political tides are turning yet again. In reflection I couldn't help but remember the artwork of Shepard Fairey, made famous during the campaign of our president Barack Obama. The words HOPE, PROGRESS, and CHANGE displayed neatly across the bottom of each visually striking print. After their circulation and a few speeches "Change"and Barack Obama were absolutely synonymous in the fall of 2008. And our world did change. It always does.

But is change all we really want?

I honestly know very few people in this world who don't want it to change on some level. Whether it comes to politics, religion, parenting, pop-culture, or the morning commute everyone wants the world to change. So the question for me is less about the whether or not the world will change or should change, and more about what the world will change into when you get, when we get our way. We all want our change, which is why we have to be so incredibly careful to know what change we're hoping for and why we hope for it. Change by itself is simply not enough. Frustration with failure and change in reaction just to see a different horizon simply won't do. We need to know what kind of world we are hoping to see at the end of that change and decide that if it costs us, that we're willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish it.

This is partially why I consider myself a Christian. There is something, though often radically twisted and skewed, in the story of Christ that reminds me how I believe change works most effectively and casts a vision for what I hope for in a world changed. Jesus Christ lays down his life on behalf of the world to change the world. Sacrificing rather than Hoarding. Serving rather than imposing power. Choosing silence on the cross rather than slinging mud. Dying for Jews and Gentiles. Friends and Enemies. Both. ALL. Its through this kindness, inclusiveness, love, service and sacrifice that I personally believe the world becomes the kind of place that everyone can enjoy; experiencing the kind of change that benefits all and not only a few. The kind of change that benefits even those who don't believe its true.

Some would say that the Christian record historically is pretty shot. I would agree, that at some points in history, Christians skewing the message of Christ have done some pretty awful things. But people of all faiths, including non-faiths have done so at some point or another. That's not my argument or my fight. My simple point is that I have decided that I want to change the world, but I specifically want the world to look more like the world Jesus taught us about. Not some Christianish version of that mingled endlessly with my insecurities and whimsical hopes. Jesus. It may not be the change I always want see. But I'm trusting that its the change our world desperately needs.

Live Love.

The Ethics of Fandom or The Art of Being a Fan...

2010-10-23T13:17:00.000-07:00

In the past 24 hours I have had the opportunity to witness the atmospheric highs and deeply troubling lows of being a fan. Last night the Texas Rangers finished up a dominant display in the ALCS, defeating the Yankees at home in Arlington. It was one of the proudest moments of fandom of my life, watching a team I've followed since I was a kid take a another step it has never known. Then Josh Hamilton in the midst of celebration gives glory to Jesus and then proves it by praising his teammates rather than himself when awarded ALCS MVP. Then the team returned the love by celebrating with ginger ale rather than champagne in honor of their teammate. These guys seem to actually love each other. I am beyond stoked for the World Series.

Today however, I attended a University of Texas game at DKR. Texas was a three touchdown favorite as they set out to demolish the Iowa State Cyclones. Now, there is no question, the game was rough. UT offense, defense and special teams all struggled throughout all four quarters and honestly Iowa State played an incredible game. Needless to say, UT went down in a very disappointing defeat and a deep groan is felt throughout all of Austin, Texas today. Here's the thing that got me though. These kids don't get paid and yet a catastrophic amount of money is made on their backs. They're nineteen and twenty years old, and yet they're expected to act as grown men, when all around them actual grown men, with real jobs, life experience, wives and children; some twenty and thirty years older than these boys are screaming obscenities at people they loved just a week ago when they were beating the stuff out of another team of young men from Nebraska. I know one of the young men I was watching today. He was in my youth group when we first came to Austin, and because of that fact some things became very real for me today. Mostly, we have bought into a lie about what it means to be a fan and we all need to grown up.

Here's the deal. These people entertain us. They give us something we can't create or perform on our own. The least we could do is to be a real fan. Sure we follow teams for years, but often that's cowardly fandom, when we turn our backs on the actual team and remain loyal to the brand. Then you're just a fan of the good old days or some whimsy driven ideal. Sure teams go through good and bad years, but real fans root even when its difficult to. This doesn't mean that they're not disappointed or realistic, but you keep rooting for people if you're a fan. We all know this is bigger than sports. Friends, may we end our days of objectifying people as one characteristic, talent, performance or flaw. We are all certainly more and may we treat each others as such.

The question: "Even when you feel disappointed or dismayed at the outcome or performance, can you still root for someone or a team?"
Be a fan.

Live Love.

Change and Loss...

2010-08-23T20:00:00.001-07:00

I had a discussion with a friend today about the Bible and Vegetarianism. We were specifically talking about a passage in Genesis and had opposing views. It turned out that I was wrong about my initial interpretation and had to concede after some faulty reasoning that I was in fact errant. I had a similar conversation with my best friend Austin the other night when discussing the idea of constructing a Muslim Cultural Center near ground zero and the Constitutionality/Historical Christian view of the build. In similar fashion we came to the end of a heated conversation and I quietly stewed over my frustration with being wrong and then finally and quietly conceded.

Like anybody else, I found myself frustrated with being wrong in both instances. I hate being wrong. Plain and simple. I despise the gnawing sensation that sits heavy in my gut when I know that I've made an argument that I can't stand behind anymore. Losing an argument can sometimes feel like losing an arm. Its painful. What is fascinating is that sometimes I never concede just choosing to hold on to my pride in spite of the fact that I and everybody else knows that I'm way out of line.

I feel like I've recently learned why I act the way I do, and for that matter why so many people struggle to change, even when they know change is in order.

In Ronald Heifetz masterful work, Adaptive Leadership, the idea of change is discussed. He states...
"You know the adage 'People resist change.' It is not really true. People are not stupid. People love change when they know it is a good thing. No one gives back a winning lottery ticket. What people resist is not change per se, but loss. When change involves real or potential loss, people hold on to what they have and resist the change."

Loss, not Change. Fascinating, right?

So here is what I believe happens in conflict much like that which I experienced with my friends. Most of us cannot even imagine being wrong, not because being wrong means that we will have to change, but more appropriately because being wrong involves loss. Loss of rightness. Loss of an ideology that we hold dear. Potentially loss of respect. Loss of a way of life. And all of those things are difficult to endure. This is what makes change difficult. Most of us subconsciously resist change because we know that change will bring about loss.

I realizing that Jesus spoke about loss and the Kingdom on a pretty frequent basis. He was incredibly up front about the change and subsequent loss people would experience if they took hold of the kingdom. If you want to save your life, you'll lose it. If you wanna come after me, you have to take up your cross and follow me. You want the kingdom, sell everything you have and come follow me. You might not have a home and don't even think of burying your dad. But there's another aspect that we must always keep in mind.

On the other side of every loss is a new reality, a new cultural norm that in some circumstances is rather sad and isn't very redemptive, like losing your driver's licence when you're 80 and having to move into an assisted living home, but when it comes to Kingdom specifically it means finding life that is truly life. Maybe we need to get introspective from time to time and recognize as I have through the help of my friends, that being wrong and suffering the pain of humiliation or a loss of rightness, is actually wonderful when you get to know the truth on the other side.

Bump-Set-Spike It. That's-the-way-we-like it...

2010-08-02T07:53:00.000-07:00

I'm writing this morning to all of those students who have had the summer of their lives. Some of you went to camp with Lake Hills or another church or organization and found yourself walking with God on a level you'd never dreamed you would. Some of you served the hungry, homeless, and hurting last week at Mission Austin and again sensed that you were up to far more than community service as you followed Jesus into neighborhoods he taught you to love. I'm writing to those students who inevitably have to go back to the routine of life this morning, engaging relationships that you might have been avoiding this summer and trying to somehow overlap the two worlds of Summer and School. I'm writing to the Dancers, Athletes, Musicians, and Academics who together begin the process of preparing for a new school year today. Its August my friends. Ready or not, your time has come.

So I simply want to give you, the student, a few words of encouragement today; something to ponder as you bump-set-spike it or repeat the same marching steps over and over again.

1. The same God who transformed your life this summer, walks with you now. In fact scripture tells us that for those who know Christ, that same God dwells inside you now. Remember Colossians 1:27. "Christ in you, the hope of Glory." Don't let distractions fool you into believing that God is somehow somewhere else. God is with you wherever you go.

2. God has gifted you with whatever your doing for a reason. Your gifts and abilities weren't given to you just for your enjoyment. God has placed you exactly where God wants you at this time so that you might help others know him. Who do your talents place you in proximity to that need healing, hope, love and grace? Remember Colossians 3:17. "And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."

3. Create Margin in your lives to spend time with Christ. Don't forget that in the hustle and bustle of adjusting to the "old routine" that you now have the opportunity to create a "new routine." Students, you don't have to live the same life you've always lived. Let me say that again. You don't have to live the same life you've always lived. You can change. The rhythms of your life can change. Just because last year you didn't have time to spend with Jesus, doesn't mean that you have to bow down and act as slaves to last year's schedule and routine. This is your life and your schedule, or perhaps more appropriately God's life and God's schedule. Make time for the things that matter most.

Beyond that, I just want you all to know that we believe in you! We're praying for you and we're here for you.

Live Love.

A True Jewel...

2010-05-13T21:15:00.000-07:00

I believe I'm probably the last person in the world to discover this jewel over at NPR.COM, but just in case I'm not, friends please check out the All Songs Considered "Tiny Desk Concert" series. If you enjoy great music, this is an absolute must see. Raw and Sincere. A dream come true for a guy like me. Here's a sneak peak from one of my favorite bands around, The Avett Brothers. Enjoy!

and here is a bonus; their video for my favorite of their songs "I and Love and You."

Sometimes I Can't Stand Myself...

2010-05-03T18:47:00.000-07:00

This weekend I had the opportunity to speak at a Disciple Now retreat at my buddy Jay's Church in Taylor, Texas. Going into the weekend I felt expectant in anticipation for what God would accomplish. I've seen so many lives challenged and so many steps taken towards Christ through my many years of Disciple Now weekends. When we arrived in Taylor we heard a beautiful sound coming from the worship center. My friend David Quinones led worship for the weekend and believe me when I say, this dude's voice sits someone between an 8 and a 9, or between John Legend and Amos Lee for those musical friends out there. I have no idea why he hasn't blown up, but believe when I say that I think he will.

After the formalities of explaining to David why I speak instead of doing music these days, we settled in for the weekend. All the leaders were in place, sets ready to play and talks ready to be given. Then Jay broke the news to me. Most all of the leaders present for the weekend were from the Village Church in Dallas. This meant two things to me. They would be well discipled, articulate and theologically versed....and their pastor is Matt Chandler. Now for those who don't know who Matt Chandler is let me just give you a quick synopsis. The guy loves Jesus passionately, is currently fighting cancer like a real man, and he's the best communicator in America. Period. Yes, better than Obama and whatever pastor you place up against him. Not that its a competition, but really THE best these ears have heard. Ok moving on. So from this point on I knew these leaders weren't listening with virgin ears. They had heard a good talk every week they'd attended the Village, and a great talk for most of those weeks as well.

Now hear me when I say that I don't care if I compare with any speaker. Its not about that. God uses who God wishes to use in the way God wishes to use him or her. I put in the time in study and God graciously uses me and I'm forever grateful. Four students came to know Christ this weekend!

So these leaders were all very cool, but at the end of the weekend there was ONE guy who seriously became my hero. See when you're a communicator its very difficult to get fired up when you're standing in front of a non-active listening audience, especially one where many of the faces seem to be analyzing every word that comes out of your mouth. It can be intimidating at times as you seek to navigate the waters of skepticism while still seeking to bring a message of hope, love and faith simultaneously.

The reason this guy was such a hero for me this weekend was found in his simple nods, faint amens, and genuinely curious eyes. He wasn't looking for what he disagreed with or already knew, but instead what he could learn or affirm from the scriptures. There were moments when, though he doesn't know it, he pulled me through. I'm grateful to you Affliction Shirt wearing leader, who can shoot the lights out of the gym. Really, thank you.

On to the point. Yesterday I was back at LHC for a morning of community and worship. We kicked off a new series called Right Here, Right Now and as we sat in the audience listening to Mac's first message this thought scrolled across the front of my mind, "Sometimes I Can't Stand Myself!" In that moment I realized that I'm not a good listener. Sure I listen, and Mac is a great communicator, but I don't encourage anybody on stage from the crowd. It was so hard to realize that I'm probably not the guy that people look at to find comfort or encouragement, not because I'm hostile, but because I'm contemplative and I'm not thinking about serving the one on stage. Its selfish listening, and this from one of the only guys in the audience who knows how much better a talk can be when you feel like somebody is "with" you. Talk about a plank in my eye. In serving the speaker you serve crowd, because they wind up hearing a more confident and verbose message. Whether we like it or not pastors are not an island.

More to come...

Live Love.

Gungor: Theological Integrity and Creative Genius

2010-04-29T20:04:00.000-07:00

The future of worship,
or at least I hope so....

MADD & the Transforming Power of the Holy Spirit

2010-04-22T17:48:00.000-07:00

I had the privilege of attending a Mothers Against Drunk Driving gathering the other night at LHC. First, I must say that the people who organized the event were so kind and thoughtful. The presenters were dead on, speaking about the legal, scientific and social issues associated with juvenile alcohol consumption and consequent parental involvement therein. There were many insights throughout the night that I found helpful and convicting, but one idea absolutely captivated my attention. The last presenter of the evening discussed that in years past MADD had used a strategy that sought to frighten teens away from alcohol consumption. I remember these days, at my school with displays set up outside depicting the gory realities of drinking and driving. For the life of me I can't remember if it was for MADD or DARE, but both programs sought to scare us out of bad behavior. The presenter then showed that they believe parents, not scare tactics, are now the key to reaching students with a message of abstinence from alcohol. Studies simply show time and time again that whether teens like it or not, and whether their parents believe it, Mom and Dad still hold the place as primary influencer in their child's life. If you reach the parents, you reach the kids.

Light Bulb!

I couldn't help but think that this meeting sounded oddly like the experience I have had in student ministry over the past 15 years of my life. When I was a teenager every speaker who shared the gospel sought to scare us bad enough that we would choose heaven over hell. If he could get us to think about death and hell enough, surely we would choose Jesus and heaven instead. The problem is that those tactics didn't yield the fruit I think everyone had hoped for. Disciples weren't made and now we're reaping the benefits with staggering numbers of college age students abandoning faith year after year. The solution. Parents. Every Student Ministry Conference and Essay coming out right now seems to point to parents/family ministry as the hope for our world. Sound Familiar?

I want you, the reader, to know that I'm stoked that secular and faith-based research is yielding the same results. I think this proves for us again that all truth is God's truth if its really the truth. In Deuteronomy 6:7, the author writes of God's commandments, "Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." Ancient Hebrews and Modern Researchers sound the same. I think its brilliant....and there's more to be said.

I've noticed as of late that trends seem to come and go in the church and secular world. I do think we are progressing and I certainly agree that parents play a beyond enormous role in the positive development of teenagers, but as a follower of Jesus I have to believe that "true transformation" happens through the work of Holy Spirit in the hearts of men and women, girls and boys. A Mom and Dad can and should guide their student through the tumultuous waters of adolescence, but only God can change their heart. Friends, let us not forget.

Stick Up For Somebody...

2010-04-13T17:30:00.000-07:00

I'm a minister. There are always moments when somebody is frustrated with something that I'm doing. I believe that is life. Today I had this moment though, when I was speaking with a friend who informed me that some people expressed their frustration towards me in his presence recently. The details aren't important and we enjoyed time together and then went on to work, but when I got in the car I wondered, "Did that friend stick up for me?" For all I know, I'm sure he did, but still I wondered. I've been thinking today about all those moments in life when we hear people speaking ill of those we either know or don't know; the moments when I don't necessarily trash talk or add to the noise, but instead stand or sit by passively, not wanting to involve myself.

Millennial Christians are often characterized by a heart for those without a voice. We spend time, money and lots of energy promoting our favorite Cause, whether that be sticking up for those in the sex trafficking industry or those without water, and believe me, I'm all for it. Millennials are moving the Kingdom forward in powerful ways. But I'm interested today in a redefinition of speaking up for those without a voice. Let's bring it home. Technically, it means that your speaking on someone's behalf who doesn't presently have a voice. Well everyday, in every office and school across America people are thrown under the proverbial bus, with no way to speak for themselves; they're picked apart and misunderstood and nobody says anything.

You know what friends, when Jesus disciples were attacked by the Pharisees for picking grain on the Sabbath, Jesus stuck up for them. I think its time that we do a better job sticking up for each other, giving one another the benefit of the doubt, defending character and asking people to deal with conflict or hearsay in person. This isn't a call to excuse everything, but instead to deal with it in a healthy manor. In a backstabbing world, we might just speak volumes about Jesus.

So my challenge today for me and for you is to stick up for somebody because don't we all hope that somebody is sticking up for us.

The Real Thing

2010-04-11T19:31:00.000-07:00

When I was in college a professor once told us that its a rare thing to find a true love song. Most quote unquote love songs are really fatuous musings or erotic objectifications based on how we feel towards the beginning of a relationship. I believe he showed us through Robert Sternberg's triangular theory of love that many love songs are written at the point where passion and commitment collide, a fatuous love or at the point where intimacy and passion collide, a strictly romantic love. Neither are true love, instead only two of the three angles required to experience true love.

Kerra and I have been married for five years this July and I find myself agreeing more and more with my professor's observation. Its very rare that I hear anything that resembles the kind of love that Kerra and I experience. We are far past the early months of infatuation and like every married couple work through times when romance is prevalent and times when its not as prevalent. But goodness, I love my wife more now than I ever thought I could five years ago. Its just different, and I'm looking for music that expresses the depth and reality of that kind of love. I'm looking for the real thing.

Just a week I ago I believe I found that in the most unlikely of places. Kerra and I have been listening to Dave Barnes for a while now. And to say that his music is "pop" is an understatement. Some of his more catchy songs are reminiscent of Michael Jackson's P.Y.T. or Rock With You, and his past records have been great, but nonetheless primarily about fatuous love. Which is to be expected, he was a single guy writing love songs. On his latest release though, "What We Want, What We Get" Barnes takes what he's learning in marriage and applies it to his writing. In short, if you're married and you like catchy hooks and songs with a lot of groove, this is a great album to pick up. Though the music is outside of my usual wheelhouse, Kerra and I greatly enjoyed sharing the songs on our drive home from Arkansas to Austin. Here's a sampling...

Easter and the Kingdom...

2010-03-29T19:05:00.000-07:00

This past week we talked about "Hosanna" and "Crucify Him," both chanted by the crowd in Jerusalem in reaction to Jesus. Hosanna, which means "save" or "save us" had to be the cry for the Kingdom by those Jews alive in Jesus' day. Under some sort of Empirical control since 586BC, the Israelites struggled under the weight of retaining a national identity without being truly free to practice that identity. Needless to say, they had ideas of what this Messiah would be. There were several camps, some hoping for a general, others a political genius, and still others hoping for one that would lead them into a utopian existence in the desert. When Jesus entered Jerusalem the crowd was interested in a specific type of savior. Though they were more than likely not all committed hard and fast to a specific point of view, everyone wanted to be saved. The problem is that they wanted to be saved the way they wanted to be saved. They were unassumingly trying to hijack the Kingdom when it wasn't theirs to take. It turned out that Jesus' plan was far bigger than a national agenda. His Kingdom stretched beyond a public interest group or political party. His Kingdom was for everyone and it looked liked a suffering servant rather than a conquering general.

So...they crucified him.

I think we can learn a lot from this story. That we don't get to make the rules for Kingdom. We don't get to ask God to save us and then tell him how to do it. He knows what we need to be saved from the most and how that needs to transpire. It might look more like a cross and less like whatever we're hoping it to be. So we've got to get under Christ's authority and let him define the Kingdom for us. Only then can we effectively cry Hosanna because then, as Stanley Grenz says, we have found the cry for the Kingdom.

Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, On earth as it is in heaven.

Live Love.

If you teach it, they will listen: thoughts on Narrative Teaching

2009-03-31T15:35:00.001-07:00

Sunday night we had the privilege of seeing four of our High School Students give their lives to Jesus. I could never take credit for the work of the Holy Spirit, but one thing did stand out to me Sunday night. I'll get to that in a bit.

When speaking about Millenials, particularly Middle and High School aged Millenials, little credit is given to their ability to comprehend, engage and enjoy scripture. I think sometimes in an effort to make things easier, more relevant or maybe more understandable, teachers will start with a proposition dissected from a passage, one they deem appropriate and timely for students and then proceed to build a talk around that proposition. Now I would never state that propositions are inherently wrong or bad, all the time, but I would say that an inherited ideal in teaching causes many men and women my age to deliver talks with little connection to or concern for the actual Biblical Narrative. In one of the great flaws of the modern age, higher-critical hermeneutics taught us to pick apart the scriptures down to the tiniest propositions. Then, taking those propositions, we might find other like propositions and form an argument. Questions quickly arise. What's the context of that proposition? Does it come from a bigger story that may give it a different meaning? Are like propositions from like stories? If not, can they be viewed in the same light? The questions go on. Does our context inform our propositions? Do lifted propositions fit into or fundamentally agree with the meta-narrative? Are they historically accurate? Are they what the authors intended to the people they were writing to? And so on and so forth...

In walks Hans Frei and the Yale Divinity School with their post-liberal theology, sometimes called Narrative Theology. In my grossly oversimplified explanation, these guys basically came to the conclusion that meaning is often derived in communities, thus it is important to understand the stories or narratives communicated in those communities, or by those authors. To take propositions out of a text without considering the community it was written to or in would be errant. Also, in a moment of nothing short of rescue these men along with men such as ethicist Stanley Hauerwas and theologian James McClendon pointed to the simple fact that much of the Bible is written in a narrative format, thus is should be studied as a narrative, with plot, setting, characters, context, climax, resolution, so on and so forth. Even the non-propositional pieces of the Bible were written in conjunction with narrative portions. Thus, it is always important to take into account the story from which we derive truth. Scripture is still infallible and as a whole I believe a narrative approach reinstates the authority of scripture, informing us of meaning rather than being forced by us to mean things it was never intended to. In addition, I personally enjoy a narrative style of teaching because the point isn't usually made at the beginning of the talk, but saved for the end, allowing the story to teach us, capture our imaginations and form our hearts and minds along the way.

On a side note. Though it may often be, I don't think that topical preaching has to be completely propositional. Though I recognize that the general proposition is usually the point of origin, topical preaching can take on a narrative approach. Like a hybrid. For instance, when speaking about sexuality we might turn back to ancient Jewish marital practices, allowing the narrative to teach us about sexuality, rather than simply compiling a list of verses, or we might discuss the issues associated with Paul's words to the Corinthians, not allowing them to be propositions, but rather a part of a larger redemptive narrative, that happens to deal with sexual purity.

My point. You would think that all this would be so boring to Middle and High School Students, but I believe we underestimate their ability to grasp complex concepts, think abstractly, and derive meaning from the scriptures. Sunday night, there were no funny stories, intriguing illustrations, and I wasn't that eloquent. Now that's not usually what Rush is like. I usually use humor to break the ice and often times flow from a topical theme. (I don't mean for this post to sound like a narrative of nothing proclamation. Lots of people have decided to follow Jesus out of a propositional model) But Sunday night we simply talked about Sacrifice in terms of pre-history, Abraham and Isaac, Passover, the Levitical Law, and then Jesus. Goodness, I almost fell asleep typing that. It seems so boring, but because we focused on the narrative, connecting the mercy and providence of God at Passover to the mercy and providence of God at Calvary was compelling to many of the students in attendance and these aren't all church kids. Believe me. Maybe Sunday night was a fluke. Or maybe God just did some powerful stuff that was way bigger than us. I think that's probably true regardless. But one thing I know, for any who find themselves drawn to teach narratively, students who didn't understand the cross before they walked in Sunday night, both Christian and Not-Yet-Christian, do now, and its because we looked to the over-arching story.

Live Love.

Opening Up...

2009-03-30T13:08:00.000-07:00

Alright blogsters. Good news. Some of you have told me that you can't comment on my blog. I've changed my settings, opened up who can and cannot comment and pretty much anyone should now be able to post comments from here on out. So let's keep it clean out there and let the games begin!

Live Love.

Music in the Spring...

2009-03-28T14:15:00.000-07:00

Every once and a while I try to put up some albums that are carrying heavy rotation in my car, at the office and at home. In the past month these three have thrilled and captivated, inspired and enthralled.

Quebec Antique

This band has convinced me that Austin can produce music as good or better than anywhere else in the world. Reminding me of The Postal Service, the greatness of this album is found in an ethereal mix of finger picking, keys, subtle loops and beats.

Ra Ra Riot

Sounding like a cross between Vampire Weekend and Matt Pond PA, this band mixes violin and cello with the east coast collegiate indie rock sounds that we grew to love so much last spring.

The Rocketboys

Don't be fooled. These guys say they're from Austin, but they all attended Abilene Christian University and earned their stripes in the Big Country. Now residing in Austin, this six piece band, with three guitarists, create an indie sound as big as Texas.

Enjoy my friends.
Live Love.

I'd Like to Introduce You to a New Friend...

2009-03-26T06:17:00.000-07:00

Blogateers,
I simply must introduce you to a new friend of my mine. Kerra and I have discovered a fascinating technology that is revolutionizing our morning routines. Without further ado...Tassimo.

The premise is simple. One cup of most any type of coffee drink, made with sheer excellence in about one minute. For instance, this morning I had a cappuccino and my wife had a latte, all made in less than five minutes, both tasting comparable to Starbucks and/or Seattle's Best. I have never been a coffee drinker, but Tassimo is turning the tide.

Live Love.

Swimming Lessons

2009-03-24T21:25:00.000-07:00

Great video I found from the guys that are hosting Catalyst West. I lost it the first and second time I saw it. Enjoy!

Things You Can't Do When You're Not In A Pool - The most amazing home videos are here

Live Love.

love and sponges...

2009-03-21T20:53:00.000-07:00

To conclude my mini-series on love, I'd like to discuss a lesson I actually picked up a couple of years ago. I'm a commentary nerd. That's right. I ask for them for Christmas and stuff. Call me Poindexter and tape up my glasses. Its not a secret I love to learn, so I was reading through a commentary on I Corinthians and found such a great insight regarding the patient and kind side of love. The author made a comment I can't remember completely but its went something like this, "love reacts with patience and responds with kindness."

It dawned on me sometime later that this is what meekness means. I think a correct definition is "power under control," and the metaphor often used is that of a wild stallion being tamed. Raw power being tamed, not distinguished, but tamed for more useful purposes. When you look at nature, and at churches and bars and offices and homes, there are a thousand different examples of power out of control. It often reminds me of a wild animal backed into a corner. Threatened, the animal lashes out in anger, fear, and frustration. What ensues is always destructive, for at least one party involved. Usually both. Meekness, means keeping your cool, reacting patiently because you know you're powerful, and out of control your power could do some serious damage. On some level I think patience and absorption are much the same.

Having refused to lash out, we remind ourselves that we are human and not simply animals. There is more to us than our instincts. This life is not kill or be killed, and love is the only way strong enough to stop fear, hate, and dominative power in its tracks. Because after we react with patience, we refuse the way of calculated revenge and we respond with kindness; always exposing evil, hate, and injustice, and and sometimes turning an enemy into a comrade.

[God, increase my capacity to love meekly]

Live Love.

love can leave the coolest scars...

2009-03-15T21:27:00.001-07:00

A couple of weeks ago we had our High School Retreat at Lake LBJ. We played this castaway type game where the kids were taken to this island on a dingy boat and then as a team had to create a boat using various materials on the island and then navigate it back across the water to win. It was probably the most fun I've ever had during a rec time. While we were setting up earlier in the day, we were trying to attach a rope from the shore to a log on the island. We tied some ludicrous knot onto the log and then had one of our high school boys give the rope a tug to see if it would budge. Well, the guy we chose was far stronger than I had accounted for and he definitely rolled the log over on my leg. It hurt, but not too bad. When we had successfully pulled the log off my leg, it revealed what appeared to be a tear in the skin on my calf. Not so much a cut, but a tear. Its turning out to leave a pretty cool scar. All that said, I was looking at it this week and it couldn't help but think about the scars we leave on each other.

I literally don't know anybody whose walking around with no scars. Maybe some lucky and lazy ones don't have physical, but everybody's got emotional scars of some kind. We've all got them, but some are definitely worse than others. They can come from any number of things, but this week in particular I was thinking about the kind of scars we carry around because we simply suck at telling the truth.

Sometimes we leave massive, gaping scars on people because we tell the truth in ungraceful ways. We're too frank. Too course. Too candid. Making someone an object of our wrath. Not aware of another's style of conflict. Not sensitive to another's past or present. Not caring about them as much as about us. Not concerned about what they really need as much as about what we want them to feel or accomplish at the moment. These scars are inflicted by the ignorant and the self-involved and often leave us discouraged and distraught.

Other times we leave a thousand little paper cut scars on each other from truthful comments that come as backhanded insults. Sarcasm can often reveal the truth in sinister ways. The truth of how we feel about each other. The truth about somebody else's weight or intelligence or relationship with God or momma. These statements can come in the form of telling the unsightly truth to groups who aren't the primary person involved. Don't you hate it when gossip gets back to you. These scars are often ones we shrug off in the moment, but later, like a paper cut, nag at us when we lye awake at night.

The tongue is certainly a double edged sword...

But maybe the worst are the scars are inflicted on us by those who don't tell us the truth when they should. This is the area that I struggle in. When somebody has an open wound that is visible, but we don't tell them about it until it festers and becomes an unsightly scar and sometimes leaves someone without a metaphorical limb. These are the moments when we know that we need to engage conflict, speaking the truth in a situation that really needs it, but don't because we're afraid. Or the moments when a rebuke is in order but we don't want to "judge." The moments when one tweak in our leadership style or relational approach could literally mean greatness, but nobody will tell us because its "not their business" or "they don't want to hurt our feelings."

We have to get comfortable telling the truth and receiving it as well. Truth can only really be shared in communities of loving trust. Places where we sincerely want to better one another. Where we root for one another. Where we deal with sin in honest ways. In Pauls words, we all need to grow up and speak the truth in love. (paraphrase, obviously) A great new quote from U2's song, "Magnificent."

"Only love, only love can leave such a mark,
Only love, only love can heal such a scar."

[God, increase my capacity to love truthfully]

Live Love.

love has the dirtiest hands...

2009-03-11T20:31:00.000-07:00

I was reading a book a while back that made my jaw drop. The Tangible Kingdom, by Hugh Halter and Matt Smay, a couple of church planters, focuses on creating incarnational community. All and all its a great read, from a couple of truly missional guys.

But back to my jaw dropping. At one point in the book they mention a young couple that came to their church, Adullam. A missional community, Adullam is highly focused on reaching people through intentional, incarnational community. So this young couple, on exodus from an institutional church in another state asks to get plugged in. The pastors at Adullam are much obliged, inviting them to enjoy community already present at Adullam. Some time later though, the couple comes back to the pastor letting him know before a service that they still were not plugged in, were feeling lonely and still hoping to find community. The next part is crazy. The dude tells them to find another church. Jaw. Drop. He went on to explain that while they were sitting in the pews waiting for the main event to start, the main event was already happening in the back of the room around doughnuts and coffee. This couple was looking for community and opportunities to reach the lost and both were standing behind them partaking in the normal rhythms of life.

Boom. That's the sound of a ton of bricks landing on my chest.

The guys go on to explain that all too many of us have lost our ability to be socially fierce. We've lost our instincts. Become tame. We expect other people to find community for us, feed us spiritually, and win our friends to Jesus. Its easy. safe. convenient. comfortable. clean.

But. Reaching people is often messy and very difficult. Loving people is blood, sweat, and tears. And meeting people is often awkward and takes time as we earn our spot at the table.

Is that not the way of Jesus though? Is that not the way of cross, the way He has called us to? Does not, "take up your cross and follow me," mean that in following Jesus' example we are to put in the hard, exhausting, sometimes frustrating, long suffering, painful, and dirty work of love?

Our life group recently took a small step in a direction sort of like this. We had served the homeless in downtown Austin for some time, but many of us felt like we were doing something good that filled a much needed, but temporary need. I think our efforts honored Jesus and honor him every day as people in our community take the step to serve those in need. Its awesome!! But we wanted to take the next step. We wanted to go further. So we partnered with this ministry to partner with a family that had been homeless for 8 years, but had recently gotten off the streets and into a trailer with their new baby. This family is so cool! I loved them the first time I met them. But, I think we're all finding that the kind of love that this family needs is fierce. Its the kind that keeps going in spite of frustration, misunderstanding, and awkwardness. Its the kind of love that doesn't give up when its inconvenienced or put out. Its the kind of love that fights through socio-economic and educational differences to develop true friendships. Its the kind of love to goes the distance. Its Jesus love.

Kerra and I are much like the couple described at Adullam, but we've both made the decision that we want to become the fiercest of the fierce or at least fierce. We're trying to unlearn so many of our millennial, instant gratificational, entitled tendencies in an effort become like Jesus. We're learning that those who really love well have the thickest skin and the dirtiest hands.

[God, increase my capacity to love fiercely}

Live Love.

lead with love...

2009-03-10T11:15:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my friends who read and commented on yesterday's post. Before anything else is said, this post is not about the inevitable boundaries, restrictions and rebukes that come along with love. That will come later this week. Now to the post.

Peter and Paul both make references to it in the New Testament. Paul four times and Peter once. Their call to "greet one another with a holy kiss," is so bizarre to me, but so conversational to them. I can't imagine walking up to a friend and being like "Hey dude" and then just planting one on him. Gross. But it was totally common in the early church. It wasn't homo-erotic or European. It was honestly, a beautiful custom.

I've done some research on the "holy kiss." We see it in Acts and we also see it abused when Judas betrays Jesus. Many of the early church fathers practiced it and many in the Eastern Orthodox faith still practice it. Its obviously been abused and even made fashionable by many in the modern erudite western world. So what's the deal with the holy kiss? What does it mean?

The Glossary of (Eastern) Orthodox Terminology says that the "kiss of peace" or "holy kiss" is a sign of unity and fellowship between one believer and another. It can also be viewed as a sign of reconciliation or equality, reverence or respect. All things we need so desperately in the Western Church.

I'm obviously not going to start practicing the "Holy Kiss" with anybody other than my wife, but I think there are some really profound things that we can learn from it.

From the Holy Kiss we find that we must lead with love. When I stand face to face to another human being. Eye to Eye. There is a sense of mutuality there that cannot be denied. You are human. I am human. On some plain, we are the same. I may not tolerate or endorse everything you do, but I love you because you are like me, created in God's image. It is also undeniable, that the holy kiss is a sign of affection, of unconditional love between two people. Before any words are said. Before anything else happens. Before our differences are drug into the light. I lead with love. I lead with affection. Its where we start. You don't have to earn it. Its yours from the beginning.

I recall Donald Miller writing about God in one of my favorite books, Blue Like Jazz. One of the great conundrums he had with God was that he wondered if God really liked him. The love side he got, especially the tough love side, but the like, he struggled with.

I think our world, both Christian and Not, need a proverbial holy kiss from us in the Church. (You don't need to correct me here. I know the holy kiss was between believers) We have to understand that people need to feel like we genuinely like and love them. That we have real affection in our hearts for them from the start. They don't have to do anything, we love them because God does. We might not agree. We may stand in total opposition, but before we get to rebuking and boundary setting and truth sharing could we just step back, set the example, recognize our common humanity, lower our walls and open up the lines of communication by loving first?

[God, increase my capacity to love first. Amen.]

Live Love.

for the love...

2009-03-09T10:18:00.000-07:00

Today marks the first day of a five part journey through a lot of what God is teaching me.

Since I can remember I've had this natural bent towards love. The word. The idea. The out workings of it in relationships. I didn't get it when I was a kid but I was certainly shown it. My parents were awesome. I am among the very few men in the world who can say that I grew up with a mom and a DAD who told me that they loved me on a consistent basis. My siblings were the same.

In college I told a girl "I love you" before I should have only to get my heart crushed and then put back together by my wife, Kerra, whom I love more than anybody else in this world. A day never goes by that I don't tell her.

I've always been the guy who told his friends that he loved them. I do love them after all, so I tell them. I'm not afraid, and I don't think its girly to say it.

For a while I told everybody that I loved them because I was afraid I would die, or they would, so I didn't want to leave anything undone. That probably wasn't love as much as selfishness, but I'm past that now. Weird. I know.

Most of the songs I write are about love.

When it comes to Jesus, the thing I love most about him was the way he loved and loves.
I'm often relieved when I read that in I Corinthians "the greatest of these is love."

Love. God is teaching me so much about it and convicting my heart to express it more often, in better, more intentional and tangible ways. He's shown me through marriage that love is so much different than you'd think.
That its tough.
That you work for it.
That some things we call love are actually not love and vise versa.
That we often take love for granted and that we often aren't being changed by Christ's love in the ways that we should be.
That Christianity as a whole isn't characterized by this attribute Jesus called the greatest.
That we don't hold one another accountable to act lovingly, but we do to read the bible, pray and not drink alcohol.
We have to get this right, or at least give everything we have trying to.

God has me praying this prayer all the time lately. Maybe you can pick up and make it a prayer mantra with me. Its simple.

[God, increase my capacity to love. Amen]

More to come tomorrow.
Live Love.

all things *NEUE

2009-02-03T17:03:00.000-08:00

This will be a quick blog. I love my life. My blood pressure doesn't reflect that right now for some reason, but I do love my life. Here's a couple of simple things that are making my life wonderful right now.

1. iPhone Apps: Holy Bible. Lose it. Twitterific. iSports. Feeds. Flixster. The Weather Channel. Enigmo. Camera Bag.
2. Neue Leadership Quarterly - seriously if you're a minister check this out. www.neueministry.com.

That's all.

Live Love.

The Divine Conspiracy and a Night to Remember

2009-01-26T17:56:00.000-08:00

I've been re-reading The Divine Conspiracy, by Dallas Willard as of late. Its probably my favorite book of all time save the Bible. Richard Foster, another one of my favorite authors said of this book, "Its the book I have been searching for all my life." I agree. Enough about that though. I was reading this morning and came across this section,

"There, at every moment, we live in the interface between our lives and God's kingdom among us. If we are faithful to him here, we learn his cooperative faithfulness to us in turn. We discover the effectiveness of his rule with us precisely in the details of day-to-day existence."

Last night I feel like God made this paragraph very real to me. We asked students bring friends that don't know that God has chosen and loved them. The students came through. We've been praying since December that God would move in the hearts of students and show his power to transform lives. So last night we all experienced something that's always true with the Kingdom, just not always easily perceived; the interface between our lives and God's kingdom among us. From beginning to end we sensed the movement of the Holy Spirit. And when the dust cleared, 5 young ladies had stepped into the Kingdom, deciding to follow Jesus, accepting his grace and reciprocating the love he embodies and gives away so freely.

It is such a mystery, but you know what, the Kingdom is at hand. God is faithful. I am grateful.

Live Love.

Thank You Rick Warren...

2009-01-20T15:53:00.000-08:00

I'd be lying if I said I have the biggest man crush in the world on Rick Warren, mostly because my brother Brent does, but today during the inauguration of our new president Barack Obama, his prayer was extraordinarily powerful! He ended the thing with the Lord's Pray for crying out loud, straight from the lips of Jesus himself. My heart soared. I almost cried. Anyway, if you missed it, here it is. To the glory of God! Thank you Rick Warren.

Live Love.

A Legacy of Trust

2009-01-20T06:36:00.000-08:00

At the beginning of the year, my pastor, Mac Richard encouraged us to read through the Bible in 2009. Needless to say, I'm giving it a go. I've never been a proponent of a yearly read because I worry about retention, but though I've read every book in the Bible at some time over the past 5 or 6 years, and many twice or three times, I feel like this is the right thing to do. Shoot, if I tell people that I'm a Narrative Theologian, I should probably read the Bible as a holistic narrative. It makes sense. Things are going well thus far, but I haven't reached Leviticus and Chronicles yet, so we'll see. I'm trusting that God will pull this enormous story together for me in 2009.

One theme that I keep picking up on, in and throughout my reading of Genesis is the profound effect we have on those we love, both in negative and positive ways. I think through the story of Abraham, trusting God in leaving home, conceiving his son, circumcision(bet that was scary), sacrificing the son promised to be a great nation, and then watching God provide a lamb to replace his son in sacrifice. Abraham was building a legacy of trust, that he passes on just a few chapters later when he sends out a servant to find Isaac, his son, a wife. I mean he sends this servant on a journey cross-country to find a wife the servant has never seen or heard of. Somehow camels work there way into the plan, and what do you know the servant, having observed a trustworthy God, and a man who trusted that God in everything struck out and found Rebekah. Later Moses trusts God and then Joshua.

I've been thinking a lot lately about my legacy. I know that's supposed to be something you think about when you have kids or turn fifty, but these stories continually point me back to a people completely dependent on God, trusting him in everything. I think that sometimes in church ministry we all have a tendency to search out the latest trend, idea, program, style, setup, leadership technique, and so on and so forth. None of that is inherently wrong or bad. Relevance, Wisdom and Trust are must haves for effective ministry and they go hand in hand. But I don't want to leave a legacy of trust in chariots, as the Bible might say. I don't want the legacy I leave to be one of just pragmatic intellect, smart leadership and great ideas. (I don't have them that often anyway) I want it to be bigger than me. I want students and adults alike to trust Jesus, in all of life, every single day and on into eternity, because I modeled it consistently in my life. I want to join Abraham in leaving a legacy of radical trust on the people God gives me the opportunity to influence in this life.

Love Lockdown

2009-01-19T19:21:00.000-08:00

Two Things.
One. Why is it that when I play Call of Duty 5, the only music I can hear in my head is Love Lockdown by Kanye West?
Two. We had an incredible time this holiday season. We had Christmas with my family, then we brought Kerra's brother back home for a week, then her Dad came for Christmas at our home, and then to cap it all off my dearest friend Austin came to visit. Needless to say, we had a blast. But, after the dust had cleared it was as if I hadn't seen my wife in almost a month, so this Saturday we instituted the first annual Gentzel family Love Lockdown. It was like the ultimate Sabbath. We made only a few ground rules. We don't leave home. We enjoy only each other all day long. The day was incredible and yes the verdict is still in, I love my wife more than a fat kid loves cake or pie if I'm the fat kid.

Live Love.

What Music Sounds Like in Heaven

2008-12-28T15:11:00.000-08:00

My brother sometimes watches Tombstone before a big presentation.
Guys in high school always listened to Welcome to the Jungle before a big game.
I have discovered the song we'll sing in heaven, and I listened to it this morning before giving a sermon on freedom on the main stage at LHC. Sung in Sigur Ros's Vonlenska or Hopelandic, the song that inspires and beckons me to worship our saving God, with giant orchestral swells and the haunting voice of Jonsi Birgisson's is Ara Batur. Listen to the song in its fullness here. Almost nine minutes of ecstasy. Make sure you wait to the end. Its the best part.

Merry Christmas from the Gentzels

2008-12-23T10:45:00.001-08:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

An Interweb Netpage to Enjoy

2008-12-19T09:57:00.000-08:00

Sufjan Stevens did it again. I grabbed this link from the Relevant page. Good times.

Live Love.

Christmas is the time animated music video's?

2008-12-17T20:32:00.001-08:00

Yes I know, it does seem odd, but Christmas is the time for animated music videos. Here's a few of my favorites.

Sufjan Stevens: Put The Lights On The Tree

The California Raisins: Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer
"My All Time Favorite!"

Relient K: Sleigh Ride

I'd love to know if I'm missing some?

Live Love.

Memories and Banjos or The Sounds of Christmas Pt. 2 & 3

2008-12-17T13:50:00.001-08:00

Goodness, its been a while. Welcome back if you've persevered since the last blog.

Carpenters: A Christmas Collection

I chose this album as one of my top three simply because of nostalgia. I remember rolling down an icy Highway 83 listening to the lady my mom said my dad had a crush on, but he said he didn't sing Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas a multitude of times. A classic Christmas album.

Sufjan Stevens: Songs for Christmas

If you purchase this record you simple must forgo iTunes and buy the hard copy. Besides the melodious flutes, banjos, and bells that characterize Sufjan's music, it comes in a box set that includes a sing a long book, (including chords) some animal stickers, and a cartoon poster for kicks. A quaint mix of hymns and originals. This is a fun one to listen to.

Live Love.

I Almost Cried Sitting at My Desk or The Sounds of Christmas Pt. 1

2008-12-03T08:54:00.000-08:00

I almost cried today. That's right. Tears welled up in my eyes and my sinuses did that faint stinging thing. Fortunately before I became a slobbery mess I realized the embarrassment I would feel if my office mates saw me crying alone and so I gained my composure. The reason for my near outburst: Christmas music. I know, ridiculous, but I listened to a Christmas album this morning that plucked me from holiday nostalgia and sat me face to face with the incarnate Son of God. I guess a few years ago Andrew Peterson decided to single handedly rewrite the cannon on Christmas with his album, "Behold the Lamb of God."

Joined by Derek Webb, Jill Philips and others on different tracks, he basically wrote a record that takes his listeners through the entire story of the Incarnation. From Moses to Jesus, the grit and glory of Christmas. I've attached a little documentary and some performance songs from the record to give a taste of its goodness. Enjoy. Then go buy it.

The Documentary

Gather Round, Ye Children, Come

Labor of Love

O Come, O Come, Immanuel

Live Love.

the end and the beginning...

2008-11-30T19:34:00.000-08:00

So its been almost a week since I've posted, but the effects of tryptophan and football kept me out of commission for a bit. Anyway, Kerra and I are in the final couple of hours of our Living Cheap Challenge. I simply cannot express how meaningful these past two weeks have been for us. Kerra and I sat down over dinner earlier and discussed what we've learned. Here's a quick rundown.

1. Simplicity is largely foreign to most of us, and it is a gift.
2. We don't need as much as we think we do.
3. We spend gratuitous amounts of money on little stuff. iTunes. Cokes. Fast Food. Clothes. Starbucks.
4. The necessity of social spending and the non-necessity of private spending.
5. Clearing out the clutter of consumerism makes room for stuff that's meaningful. ie. conversation over a dinner at home
6. Taming the appetite for consumerism opens up our appetite for justice, mercy, and love.
7. When we act as a team, we're unstoppable. My wife is one Godly lady.
8. God will honor simplicity with the opportunity to make a difference for the Kingdom.

Needless to say, we'd recommend a consumerism fast for anyone hoping to evaluate what matters in life. We decided tonight to change our spending habits for good. Not a continuing fast, but a simplified lifestyle. The end of this challenge, but the beginning of a new way of life. Please continue to pray for us.

Oh and here's the final count. Our final two-week total was $102.97, leaving us the humble privilege of giving more than we could have ever imagined to one person and one cause we deeply believe in. And I ended up winning by $8.64. God is good.

Live Love.

Living On The Cheap: Days 4-6

2008-11-22T15:46:00.000-08:00

Well the first week of our Living Cheap Challenge has almost come to a close. I feel like we're learning a lot. At the beginning of the week I felt a lot like Michael Scott in the episode when Carroll breaks up with him. Remember the one when he consoles himself by listening to the same 30 second iTunes clip of Goodbye My Lover, by James Blunt. Well I wasn't trying to console myself, but I did listen to a 30 second clip of Human, by The Killers far more times than I should have. I know all this sounds kind of crazy, why not just buy the song? Its only a buck. But I've learned over and over again throughout this week that Kerra and I both spend so much money on stuff we haven't thought through, don't need, and could use for something better. A little self disclosure. We have almost 5 days, that's right, days of music on our iPod. That's 120 hours of music, and that's just the music we want on our iPod, not to mention all the music on the computer that didn't make the cut. Enough is enough.

I'd be lying if I said that I'm not going to buy music anymore. Its a sincerely important part of my life. In fact, I simply can't wait to buy the She & Him album, but maybe I should act like Michael Scott a little more. My confession. Hi, my name is Kirk and I'm an iTunes addict. I need to listen to clips for a bit to find out if I really like the music, instead of impulsively buying it the day it comes out or the instant I discover it.

And you know what's so cool? Since Kerra and I have started this challenge it seems like God has been so good about showing us all the need around us. It feels good to have a little extra cash, to know that we aren't debiting the world away, and to know that maybe we could help somebody who needs it.

An update. As of 6:30pm on Saturday we have spent exactly $58.00 this week, of which $20.00 paid for two tickets to the Lake Travis State Volleyball game. And...it doesn't really matter but I'm still winning by $2.52. Thanks for your prayers.

Live Love.

Living On The Cheap: Days 1-3

2008-11-19T09:43:00.000-08:00

Today is the 3rd day of the Living Cheap Challenge and let me tell you I am learning a lot of things about myself. But before the lessons learned section of this blog post, I'm glad to report that thus far I am winning having spent $0.00 compared to Kerra's $2.52. Oh and a few rules for clarity. Gas doesn't count in this game because my job is 20 minutes further, thus giving Kerra a clearly unfair advantage. On to what God's teaching me.

When we embarked on this little journey it really was just a game we could use to track our spending habits and give to something we believe in. Over the past three days I'm finding it to be more like a fast though, but without the abstaining from food and mainly dealing with iTunes, eating out, and all the other miscellaneous things like chap-stick that we love to purchase. I think its really good for both of us.

I know the other night we were taking my friend Will to meet his parents in Brady, Texas, two hours away. When I drive late at night, I usually grab some Mike and Ikes, Sunflower Seeds, and a Red Bull to keep me awake, but this evening I knew that wasn't an option. I have to win! So I abstained. It was exceedingly difficult. My oral fixation kicked into high gear, I got tired, and I got ravenously thirsty, about thirty minutes in. I forgot my SIGG. But over those four hours I was reminded again and again that Jesus is more than enough for us. I settled into some really good conversation with Will over the melodies of some Texas Country bands he wanted to show me, and then turned around and had the kind of talks you always hope for but never have with my bride all the way home. Who knew that a little discomfort could lead to such an amazing night?

Pretty cool first couple of days. I've got more stories that I'll have to share later.

Live Love.

Living on the Cheap or a Grudge Match for the Ages

2008-11-16T20:47:00.000-08:00

This weekend Kerra and I attended the Fusion conference in Dallas. It was a whole lot of fun and God stirred our hearts towards some pretty specific things, particularly regarding consumerism and the American Dream. We've both sensed for a while that our entrenchment in consumeristic practices, sometimes holds us back from living the dreams God has for us. We desperately want to live remarkable lives. So we've concocted a plan.

For the next two weeks Kerra and I will be competing against one another in a simple economic grudge match. But its not about who can make the most, or spend the most, or make the wisest investment. The question is, "who can spend the least amount of money over the next two weeks?" All our normal bills will be paid, but regarding food, entertainment and miscellaneous expenditures, we're trying not to spend. Our hope is to begin the process of weeding out frivolity from our budget with the intent of getting free of negative practices and loving the world economically. With the money left over at the end of the two weeks, we'll be making a donation to Compassion International, mainly so we don't turn around and spend it.

For all those who read this blog, please pray for us and encourage us along the way. We'll need it. Who knows, maybe this will turn into something much more. I hope it challenges us to think about our spending habits and helps us form new habits that honor Jesus.

Live Love.

on the way...

2008-11-12T14:03:00.000-08:00

Like I said in my last post, Jesus is teaching some personally profound things through scripture right now. Stuff that's actually changing the way I live. I was reading through Matthew 9 the other day and came across something that really took hold of me. In one of the stories Matthew describes a scene where a ruler comes and begs Jesus to heal his dead daughter. Jesus complies. Pretty cool. Jesus is gonna resurrect this girl. But...on the way something interrupts his plans. A lady suffering from an unsightly and embarrassing lady problem touches the hem of his robe. And the words that are challenging me are simple. "Jesus turned." He turned, healed her, and continued on his way to heal the ruler's daughter.

Jesus was on his way. He was interrupted, depending on your theological perspective. I think he was. But he turned to help this woman. I've convinced over the past couple of days that I'm the most hair brained task oriented person alive. I've got what they call, "frenetic tunnel vision." I think a lot of us get in this rut. Its why we can't tell you everything about the world between home and our job. Its why my wife gets so frustrated at me when I'm watching television or messing with my iPhone. Its not her. Its me. Its why I get so frustrated when somebody interrupts any number of tasks. Its why so many of are rarely fully present when we're between here and there.

But I think we learn a lot from Jesus in this passage. We learn that "on the way" can be packed with so much meaning and significance if we'd only take the time to turn, to be intentional in our interruptions or maybe be intentionally interrupted. A couple examples over the past couple of days.

I was headed to buy my wife a delicious gourmet cupcake from Hey Cupcake, on South Congress. She had been so sweet to me through my sprained ankle and I wanted to show her a little love. On the way I saw the sign for a church down the street and thought of their new student minister Mark. I decided, "Today I'm going to be intentional on the way, so I pulled in unannounced only to be surprised with a truly inspiring conversation with a kindred spirit that I look forward to working with and can learn a lot from.

Then yesterday, I decided to work from a coffee shop in the area. I was working. Really. When I realized that I was and had been the only customer for quite some time. Just me and the girl working there, I decided, you know what? How about an interruption. Her name is Kirra and she and I had a great conversation about the economy, spirituality and Jesus. Very cool person. And I'm ever so grateful that Jesus is teaching me to live life on the way. I view myself to be a bit like Derek Zoolander. "Derek, I'm not an ambi-turner either. In fact I'm not much of a turner at all. I'm learning."

Live Love.

they begged him to leave...

2008-11-10T12:05:00.000-08:00

I've had some pretty powerful moments in studying the scriptures as of late, so for the next couple of days I thought that I'd share some things I'm learning from Jesus.

In Matthew chapter 8 all sorts of people are getting into this Jesus movement: lepers, roman centurions, Peter's family, the disciples, the demon-possessed, even the wind and sea are exercising the reign of Jesus in all creation, but for one group of people things were different. The last story of the chapter has really gotten under my skin. The plot goes like this; Two demon-possessed men come out of some caves right outside a town. Jesus casts the demons into a herd of pigs who proceed to drown themselves. Shepherds run into town and tell everybody what happened and here's the last verse. " And behold, all the city came out to meet Jesus, and when they saw him, they begged him to leave their region."

All week I've been asking myself. "Why would they want Jesus to leave?" Sure the events of the day were scary, but two demon-possessed men were healed. That's good right? For some reason these people were more afraid of Jesus then they were of the evil in the midst. They were more comfortable with the demon-possessed living down the street than they were with the one sent to heal them. They were more comfortable with the evil in their midst than they were with the change it took to rid them of that evil.

Jesus' casting demons into the pigs threatened everyday life. The demon-possessed lived out of sight. But who in their right mind would ask the Great Healer to leave the region? Either people who were afraid that Jesus might be evil, because they didn't see the evil right in front of them or the townspeople were comfortable with the status quo, even if it included evil. Could it be that they were more willing to allow evil to exist down the street at the cave, than to let Jesus heal and change and usher in the kingdom in their city.

So I've had to start asking some tough questions in my own life. Do I love the status quo, the comfortable and predictable, with injustice more than I do the reality of Jesus bringing justice and wrecking my status quo? Have I, have we gotten comfortable with evil in our midst? Do I really want Jesus to come to town? Would it effect where I bought groceries? How I shopped for clothes? How I viewed possessions? Where I lived? Who I lived in community with? What I thought about everything from politics to pounds? Just questions. But I gotta wonder what systems of thinking and acting I've accepted because that's what you do.

I wrote down this prayer the other day after I meditated on this passage. I hope you find it encouraging.
"God help us reach across our discomfort to reach people you love. Come to town Jesus. Come to town. We welcome you, even if it means discomfort or wrecking our status quo. We ask. We seek. We knock. -Amen"

The Birds of Anger or Our Fascination with the Middle Finger

2008-10-22T07:41:00.000-07:00

I've been filling in the past week or so at Steiner Ranch Elementary School as a Crossing Guard. My friend Matt got me into the world of Crossing Guard last year, and its an easy way to make a little extra cash, meet parents, and just serve the community. Pretty cool, but...the past four days of Crossing Guard have been pretty crazy. See it seems that the bird population of Steiner Ranch is pretty high this year, and they always seem to come out when we (Wendy and I) tell somebody they can't turn left or somebody cuts somebody else off in traffic. And then when they come out people just start screaming obscenities at each other. Its crazy! Some are thrown subtly after a quick whistle, some are thrown up high with a string of unwholesome words in tow, and the some are just the good old fashion angry faced triple bird given before, during and after someone is made to turn right.

Really though, why is everybody so angry? And what's so friggin wrong that you would give somebody the middle finger in the middle of an elementary school crossing? Hello! Children! Everywhere! I know that there are a multitude of things going on in all our lives right now. I know that the financial crisis could cause an increase in bird sightings, and money problems cause stress on a marriage and so on so forth. Seriously, we have to figure out a way to deal with the seeds of anger. Those things that are eating on us. Those machines that seem to always break or that thing our co-worker does that ticks us off or getting cut off in traffic. Jesus was right on when he talked about anger. Angry actions come from angry feelings which come from any number of places and we've got to take the inward journey to find those seeds of anger before they take root. And then....we must ruthlessly rip those seeds from the ground and get rid of them before they grow up and crowd out any joy we once had in our lives. See I think the bird is a sign of something far more scary. I think the bird is our way of trying to take control of a situation that inside of us is already out of control. We react with anger because inside we're already filled up and brimming over with it. I want to take that inward journey and I pray for those who've been flipping us off recently that somehow they would find a way to do the same. I hope they will find peace and rest and wholeness, cause the birds of anger are killers.

The Ethics of Cattiness

2008-10-21T08:32:00.000-07:00

So I've been thinking through an ethical dilemma as of late, and I wanted to involve those of you who so kindly read my blog. See I have a friend who experienced the pain of cattiness the other day at work. The friend expressed her opinion in a meeting, taking the moral high ground, only to be shot down and humiliated by a group who didn't necessarily disagree but simply hated that she took the high ground. My first inclination is that misery loves company. And believe me, I'm trying so hard to flee from self-righteousness, but I'm bothered by this because I see it in myself so often.

For example, there is a group I know that has resolved not to watch "R" rated movies. Nothing wrong with taking that position. Many "R" rated movies are pretty smutty, and yet my first inclination is to rally my tribe and talk about how stupid it is to make such a decision. Its not that they are doing something morally wrong, I do personally disagree on some level, but why do I feel the need to react in catty fashion? Why do we have the tendency to attack those who act in moral superiority to us? Its like the drunk who makes fun of someone for choosing not to drink, who doesn't look down his or her nose at the drunk, but simply chooses a different lifestyle. A drunk certainly knows that an overabundance of alcohol can wreck his or her life, and yet because someone else chooses not to partake in his misery, some drunks make fun of those who have chosen a different path.

For me this isn't a question of relativism. I get it. We live in a relativistic culture, but why even in a relativistic culture would we demonize or act cattily toward someone we know acts with more integrity and higher moral standards than we do? Even when we know that their ethical integrity will make the world a better place. Is it a coping mechanism? Is it perceived self-righteousness or even projected self-righteousness? Is it projecting feelings one has towards oneself on the person they admire? Or is it something else? Can we just talk about it though? Cause I feel like there is a silence on this subject that all too often gets swept under the rug or called ethical or religious fundamentalism or judgementalism. I vote that we stop the cattiness.

Live Love.

Athletics and Everyday Injustice

2008-10-13T13:49:00.000-07:00

My wife coaches volleyball. I'm a youth minister. The two of us go to a lot of High School and Middle School athletic events. Believe me when I say that I've seen my fair share of irate fans. I remember in Van Alstyne, Texas a group of men who crowded close to the fence and screamed unmentionable obscenities at their sons, coaches, and referees. I went in and stood in their midst for a short moment. Smiling ear to ear, in silent protest of their idiocy. My wife rolled her eyes. I also remember the time my dad screamed, "You Turkey" at the top of his lungs at a ref who made a bad call in relation to my sister Kara. My mom was horrified. I thought it was pretty tame. And I remember just a couple of days ago, hearing a mom tear a referee to pieces under her breathe to the mom beside her at a Ninth B volleyball game.
Ninth. B. Volleyball. Astounding.
Now I would be the first to admit that I can get pretty competitive, but I think I might be on to something with all this hooping and hollering. I think people have a keen sense for detecting everyday injustice, especially in relation to themselves. No I'm not talking about starvation, or forced labor, or the rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer and poorer and poorer. I would say that many of us have little of no sense of real injustice, including me, but I'm talking about everyday injustice. Like when a son or daughter gets fouled and nobody calls it. Like when somebody cuts us off in traffic, but they don't get a ticket. Like when a coworker isn't carrying his or her load and they're getting away with it. We're acutely aware of the small injustices that occur to us, those we know and those people we know know. And I really think that its a pretty good thing. I mean picking up on the fact that things have gone awry or that everyday injustice is happening is a good thing. After all, God told us to "seek justice" right? And we do. But I'm not sure we do it correctly. We yell at a ref, asking him to find his head and pull it out. Is verbal abuse really the way to deal with everyday injustice? Cause in abusing aren't we becoming the unjust. Couldn't the second half of the verse in Micah six be employed. "Seek justice. Love mercy. Walk Humbly before your God." Why? Because all us need to pull our heads out from time to time, and we all need mercy to get us through when we do. (Which doesn't mean that we shouldn't have to deal with the repercussions of our actions.) See, we should be bothered by everyday injustice. But we've got to find a civil and loving way to deal with it. Cause I really think it breaks the heart of God when his children make someone else's life miserable over a lousy call or a dropped ball. Who knows, maybe if we handle this well, God might let us seek some real justice in our broken world?

Abram and the Financial Crisis

2008-10-02T07:51:00.000-07:00

We all know by now that the financial crisis is bearing down on America in a pretty intense way. Some say its a lot of fear mongering and others say that the end is immanent. I think we can be sure that things will not be the same, even with an enormous congressional bailout. Seems like everybody I talk to is dealing with losing some sum of money. Difficult times. Disruptive times. Disturbing times.

I know there are so many passages from scripture that could better address the present issues, in more relevant ways or maybe even passages that talk about money. But this week I've been studying for a new series called Roots, and I simply cannot shake one specific phrase in Genesis 12. 12:4a says, "So Abram left, as the LORD had told him." So simple. He hadn't been told where he was going specifically. God just said he'd show Abram. He wasn't told what he would do there other than bless those he encountered as YHWH had blessed him. He had a lot to leave. Family. Friends. The life and world he knew. Comfort. And what's with this YHWH anyway, promising to make a great nation out of a couple that couldn't conceive? But he saw something in YHWH that stirred him to action. Two important things stand out to me. Roughly ten generations after the last time God had engaged humanity, God came near and this God blessed. Relational and Generous. Abram didn't know everything about where he was going, or what exactly he would be doing, but he did know who he would be going with. And...so Abram left, as the Lord had told him.

I'm feeling a deep connection with Abram today. Like his story is our story. Like maybe uncertainty doesn't have to be so scary. Maybe just maybe, its not about where we're going, or what will happen when we get there, but mainly who we're going with. And I think I'm on board for whatever may come, cause I know who I'm with. And I pray that somehow God would work in me, in us, a "yes" to whatever he asks or wills.

Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

2008-09-26T09:31:00.000-07:00

I've seen it atop the Apple TV Episodes all summer. It looked peculiar. But I finally broke down and downloaded.
Funny. Clever. Catchy and Creative numbers. A true exorcise in postmodern thought. The story of a second rate and soft hearted villain trying to earn his stripes and the love of his laundry mat crush Penny. Check it out for free here.

Live Love.

The Evolution of a Music Snob

2008-09-19T11:50:00.000-07:00

Last night Kerra and I were lucky enough to see Stephen Kellogg and the Sixers downtown at Stubb's. The show was amazing. These guys are one of the most entertaining bands around. Their creed: We love music, but we love laughing more. We laughed. A lot. Their show reflects their creed well. Here's a picture I snapped.

Concerts always make me think. Last night I thought about how sad I was to see only 200 hundred people come out to see this show. I thought about how rude the people were at the bar who paid fifteen bucks to sit in the back of a room and shout at each other rather than listen to a great show. I thought about how frustrating it must be to tour all over the country, playing to audiences like this, where half the people are tuned in and the other half could care less. I mostly thought about how grateful I was to Stephen, Goose, and Boots for playing their hearts out to a dismal crowd because they love music but love to make people laugh more.

Growing up I was a pretentious music snob. Everyone who came in contact with me knew that I hated Country, hated Hip-Hop, and especially hated Rap music. I was all about Rock and Roll from the first time my sister introduced me to Our Lady Peace, Nirvana, and Smashing Pumpkins. I bet I was really annoying.

I continued on that way for my teen years and on into college, but after college I began to ease off some, embracing all sorts of music, both mainstream and independent. I've realized that I can enjoy Country, Rap, Hip-Hop, and Rock and Roll. All genres have good things to offer.

But.

After last night, I'm finding that I think I'm still a music snob, or at least I'm evolving into one again. This time it doesn't have anything to do with genre, so much as it has to do with music. Questions like "Did you write it?" "Have you earned it?" "Are you saying anything worth hearing?" Is it creative?" "Is it clever," "Is it all about money?" "Is it all about you?" These questions come to mind. There is something to the words of Derek Zoolander, "Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero.
The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that." I know this quote is ridiculous, but I think there's something to it. When artists put in the work, I respect that. I might not listen to their album over and over again, cause it might not appeal to my ears, but I have much more respect for them than I would for an artist whose music was written for them and whose vocals were tracked. We'll see where this evolution takes me. For now I'll enjoy finding artists who do what they do well and do it for the love of music. And love to laugh, too.

The Adventures of Austin Evers

2008-09-17T11:18:00.000-07:00

I don't usually do this but I simply have to today. Its just necessary. For those of you who know me, I might be the most blessed person alive. I found Jesus, or he found me and its changed me forever. I've got the coolest family ever. The most beautiful, Godly, caring, practical, good for me especially wife I could ever ask for. A great job at a great church. Great boss, coworkers, a real honest to goodness mentor. I'm telling you I'm a grateful and blessed son of a gun. But I also have one thing a lot of people don't have. I have some really good friends and one honest to goodness best friend. My brother told me the other day that we might as well be brothers. His name is Austin Evers. Here's his goofy mug.

Anyway, all that said to let anybody who reads this blog know that Austin is blogging right now about his adventures on mission in Africa. I promise he didn't put me up to this. These posts are just really, really moving and they illuminate Jesus so brightly. So check them out here.

Live Love.

Its The Sensation That's Sweeping the Nation

2008-09-10T08:11:00.000-07:00

Alex Alexander showed me this video a couple day ago. Since then it has swept across my office, my home and my life group. Simply Amazing. Zap!

Live Love.

The Straw That Broke The Camel's Back

2008-09-09T15:31:00.000-07:00

That's it! I've had it! Enough is enough! Last Saturday I went to Target to buy the new NCAA Football 09 for my Nintendo Wii. I have enjoyed playing this game since it was on Sega Genesis, back when I was ten. You can imagine my excitement as I went home, opened the game and popped it in. And then it happened. I finally snapped. The graphics were terrible. The gameplay was dumbed down for kids. And the animations looked more like Hello Kitty than Football. I was simply broken hearted. I had just spent $50 dollars on the stupid thing. So I called the store to see if I could take it back. Nope. The guy suggested that I take it to gamestop cause they buy used games. So you know what I did today?

I packed up my Wii, my controllers, my cool sensory bar, Wii Fit, Guitar Hero III, NCAA 2009, and several other subpar games and sold them all this afternoon to those warmhearted people down at gamestop. It was liberating. I honestly won't miss it. So good riddance to Nintendo Wii. Hello freedom.

When My Mouth Doesn't Work, Awkwardness Ensues

2008-09-08T08:23:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a very long day. A great day! But a very long one.
Rush went really well last night. We had a bunch of students. They liked the new t-shirts and sunglasses. The band worshiped and showed all of us a really good time. We talked about Jesus' Kingdom Revolution. Small groups were short but seemed to go pretty well all in all. Jesus was honored.

I also had the opportunity to help with worship in big church yesterday. It was a pretty high honor in light of the fact that it was kick off Sunday morning. When Mark asks me to sing on Sundays I play the role of Flanker. Its really cool. I get to sing and play most of the same things that Mark (Our Worship Pastor) sings and plays. I'm like his support. Its a really cool way to get to serve my worship pastor.

The awkwardness came yesterday morning at 9:27. We would be going on stage in approximately 1 minute so I thought I'd go tell my wife hello. (my office is backstage) So I proceeded to my office, sat down next to my sweet wife, and took a drink of water from the dasani bottle she had purchased for me at McDonalds. For some reason unbeknownst to me my mouth just decided not to work when I took that drink of water, rendering my lips completely ineffective. As though in slow motion I actually watched the water plummet to my lap all over the front of my pants. It was just in the right area too. And guess what? We don't have hand dryers at the church. I was stuck with it.

Almost instantly I hear, "alright everybody on stage." Humiliated I made my way to stage, with my wet pants. Mark said he looked over in the middle of worship and saw what looked to be a spot on the front of my pants. It was reminiscent of elementary school. Awkward and probably pretty funny for those on the first three or four rows.

The Awkwardness and Donald Miller

2008-09-06T08:42:00.001-07:00

After my last blog I figured I would tell the only personal story I have pertaining to Donald Miller. As I said before, his book Blue Like Jazz was instrumental in waking me up from a long and cynical slumber I found myself in towards the end of my senior year in college. In October 2007 I had the opportunity to attend a conference at Irving Bible called Fusion. There was one real reason I attended and that reason was Donald Miller. He would be speaking on the Free Market Economy and Jesus. I listened to the talk, though I was late, and it was incredible. You can actually buy it from Blue Fish TV. Its worth the price.

On the second day I found out that Miller would be hosting a smaller breakout session in student ministry room at IBC. I got there really really early so I could get a good seat and as I walked in there he was, Donald Miller. Now acting cooler than cool I noticed that there was a line of people waiting to get Blue Like Jazz autographed, but I thought to myself, "Self you are cooler than that. You don't need an autograph." So I sat quietly, pretending to journal, so that I would appear intellectual but not super-spiritual. The line dwindled after a while, until there was one guy left and then Miller stood alone preparing for his ensuing talk.

After some inner turmoil I worked up the nerve and conviction to go tell Miller thank you for his writing and the effect it had on my life. I walked up to him cooly and introduced myself. "Mr. Miller its good to meet you. My name is Kirk Gentzel. I know you probably hear this all the time, but your book really changed my life in college. Thank you, it helped save me from leaving the church in college." The words came out just like I hoped they would, but one thing happened that I'll never forget.

See in Southern Baptist life, there is this thing that doesn't exist anywhere else in the world. The prolonged handshake. I've seen deacons do it every Sunday of my young life. When you want to talk to someone sincerely you shake their hand, look directly in their eyes, and continue shaking hands until you've delivered the sincere message you want to give. Some, like me, think this is totally normal, for the majority of you who think this is creepy, congrats you're like Donald Miller. As I delivered this heartfelt message, with the prolonged handshake, Miller, noticeably uncomfortable with my prolonged handshake, jerked his hand back from mine, still listening but now with a bewildered look on his face, like, "what kind of creeper tries to hold my hand?" Needless to say, I finished thanking Miller, and walked back to my seat feeling like a complete awkward idiot. I was humiliated, and nobody was even in the room to notice.

My wife says I'm awkward from time to time. In this instance, she's right.

Donald Miller at the Democratic National Convention

2008-09-04T06:00:00.000-07:00

When I was a senior in college I picked up a little book by a guy Donald Miller that changed my life forever. I had been through a very dark period in my relationship with God; struggling with the problem of good and evil and a church that seemed to care very little about things that really matter. The book was called Blue Like Jazz. It was humorous and also poignant, verbalizing so many things I never knew I wanted to say. So the other night it turns out that Miller prayer at the Democratic National Convention. He did an excellent job, asking God for direction in dealing with injustice, for the widow and orphan. And...he prayed it all in the name of Jesus. Pretty cool. I stole the video from Stevey B's blog, which you should read if you get a chance.

Live Love,

The Sounds of Autumn

2008-09-03T19:40:00.000-07:00

I told Kerra the other day that Autumn was my favorite time of year for music. It seems to be a time when my musical taste is defined more than the other months of the year. I usually like to keep it pretty Americana with a touch of Rock and Roll, always moody. Some favorites seem to come around every year, but its always seems like a few new artists work their way into the rotation. Here's what will be streaming off my iPod and into my ears this Autumn.

The Gabe Dixon Band//The Gabe Dixon Band: Alright so these guys have to be one of the best kept secrets in the music industry. Dixon can straight up play the piano. Their music sounds much like early, pre-sparkly glasses Elton John or even Billy Joel. One of my favorite new artists.

Jason Reeves//The Magnificent Adventures of Heartache (And Other Frightening Tales...: Reeves did a song a while back with Colbie Caillet. His music's pretty poppy but he possesses a smoothness reminiscent of many of the Hotel Cafe Artists. "You in a Song" is a great track.

Conor Oberst//Conor Oberst: Alright so this is no new Bright Eyes album, but it is pretty good nonetheless. Oberst takes the Americana nature Bright Eyes' latest album a step further and even adds a little Mexican/Western flavor.

Matt Pond PA//Several Arrow Later: Ok this is probably my favorite Autumn album of all time. I picked it up a couple years ago and I seriously play it twice or three times a week every week through the entire Autumn and Winter. They're a rock band with a cello player. A simply flawless album.

Jeff Tweedy//Sunken Treasure: I picked up this DVD a year ago for the sole reason of getting the acoustic set you can download once when you put the DVD in your computer. The songs Tweedy plays are rarely heard at a Wilco concert, but the purely acoustic tracks, spiritual overtones and warm banter of Tweedy makes this an excellent Autumn selection.

Wild Sweet Orange//We Have Cause To Be Uneasy: I saw these guys open for Matt Kearney about a year ago. I remember sitting there with Kerra and thinking, "the raw emotion and message of this band will take them far." Lots of subtle biblical imagery joined with painfully honest reflections on life and love make this album a must listen.

Phil Whickham//Singalong: Whickham's haunting voice. The best tracks from both of his albums. The greatest hymns ever. Acoustic. And its absolutely free!! Download it for free at www.philwhickham.com.

And that's it. The Melodic sounds of Autumn 2008.

First Day of School Prayers

2008-08-25T06:54:00.000-07:00

So today is the first day of school for thousands of High School students all over West Austin. Approximately 5300 in just Westlake, Lake Travis and Dripping Springs High Schools, not to mention Bowie, St. Andrews, Regents, and St. Michaels, which would add a couple thousand more. I was thinking on the way to work this morning what my prayers for them would be on their first day of school. Here's what I came up with.

1. That Jesus would be lifted high by the many students from multiple churches represented.
2. That students could live out the many commitments they made this summer toward the first day of school, or even remember them for that matter. Also that they could fight through the guilt/frustration of broken commitments to remain in the game.
3. That students would remember that the God is present with them and that that would be significant to them.
4. That students could find the courage to push through skewed perceptions of themselves and their place on the social ladder, to find life that is really life. How cool would it be to see a bunch of kids comfortable in their own skin.
5. That Upper Classmen would find greatness in service to those younger than them.

I'm also praying for Kerra Gentzel today as she starts a new job. I'm so proud of her. She already brought a teacher friend to church yesterday before school even started. I love my life.

Live Love

The Hopelessness of Hype in a Society of Sermons

2008-08-23T13:39:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I was reading through a book my brother Todd recommended while getting my oil changed. Through my reading I took some notes that I'm still working through and they're jumbled, but I thought I'd share them nonetheless.

In regard to the spectacle of mass media, an economic/consumeristic point of view, and the effect it has on us I wrote,

"Our perception of reality is often shaped by promises that cannot be kept, from an alternate reality that could never live up to it's own promises." ie. a mega-store that gives low low prices but costs people their well being somewhere in our periphery or workout equipment that makes us tan and fit.
These promises unkept lead to a certain level of hopelessness, when we wake up from the reality created for us.

"Its the good news of the spectacle." "The gospel of hype."

"Independent thought is often conformity to something called independent thought by those shaping reality. Those creating the spectacle."

"Stop preaching is such an ironic statement in our culture. Its a fraudulent statement, for everywhere we look we are subjected to sermons."

"Every show on every channel we watch, every magazine, every radio show, every class we take, every store we enter, every commercial we watch, every song we hear, every book we read; they all possess a message that shapes us whether we're aware of it or not."

"In essence "Stop Preaching" is a declarative to accept the sermon or sermons I hold dear; accept my world view."
"Stop preaching is itself preaching."
"We need God's guidance because God is the only one who sees things right side up. The only one who gives real hope. The only one who sees clearly, and who's hype lives up to the hype.

That's all for now. I can sense a level of hypocrisy even as I'm writing. Still working through this.

Live Love.

Rick Warren: Politics, Faith, and Hope for the Evangelical Image in America

2008-08-18T19:38:00.000-07:00

I've been out of town for the past couple of weeks so I missed some pretty important stuff including episodes of Psych, Burn Notice, the Olympics and most importantly the Presidential Forum led by pastor Rick Warren. I've actually had the chance to watch some of the footage since, and I have to say that Rick Warren brings so much joy to my heart. I know he's not perfect. I even kind of (I mean it when I say "kind of")get some of the issues people have with his leadership, but after watching him take the stage and state that Democrats and Republicans must end an old cycle of demonizing those they disagree with, I can't help but think that he stands to be the most positive leader of national influence since Billy Graham. And for that matter he's different then Graham. He possesses a freshness and balance that I think America needs. Just to know that in the future Pat Robertson and the Evangelical far right will only have a voice in relation to Rick Warren's gives me such hope for the perception of Christians in America on into the future. People need to know that we love them and that we're not crazy. Following Jesus is actually good for the world.

If you want to see the forum, check it out at this site, http://trevinwax.com/2008/08/17/obama-mccain-with-rick-warren-at-saddleback-forum-video/. Sorry I know you have to copy and paste but I'm having trouble with links. Its worth the while.

Live Love.

No "Buts" On The Lake

2008-07-26T07:57:00.000-07:00

In Genesis 12, the exchange between God and Abraham is pretty profound. In one instance, God reveals to humanity that God wants a relationship with humans, that God's not malicious, and that Gods even got good plans of blessing for these humans God has created.

"And I will make you a great nation,
And I will bless you,
And make your name great,
And so you shall be a blessing."

I love that there's not buts in this passage, that it functions as a progression. Its not "I will bless you," but "you must be a blessing," making God's blessing conditional and our blessing of others a manipulated action. Instead, its a completely free act for God and for us. God doesn't enslave Godself to cycle of power over and manipulation, and God doesn't enslave humanity to a cycle of God pleasing out of fear of repercussions. God is gifting Abraham and his decedents with a noble identity. I like that about God. He only calls us to do what he's already doing. He leads us through loving kindness. We're drawn rather than extorted, manipulated or forced. Blessed to be a blessing.

Yesterday a family did just that for Kerra and I. With no strings attached, the Atwell's invited us over for a day on the lake. They didn't have a negative agenda. They didn't have concerns to bring to us, or frustrations that they wanted to share. There was no bait and switch. They just wanted to have us over for a party day on the lake. Their agenda was to show everyone a good time and build relationships. I believe Jesus was pleased. Needless to say, we had an excellent time, being blessed by some really sweet hearted people who've been blessed to have a home on Lake Travis. All in all, an excellent day.

A "Reuben" Sandwich

2008-07-09T08:22:00.000-07:00

I like to read the Sciptures very much. In fact this morning I was reminded several times between Judges and Galatians that these writers were pretty smart, and very inspired. I was reading Judges this morning, marveling at the profundity and empowering nature of Deborah, a strong woman leader, when I was struck with an interesting little section in her song. After an intense battle where only some of the tribes of Israel fought verse 15 and 16 go like this,

"Among the clans of Reuben there were great searchings of heart. Why did you sit among the sheepfolds to hear the whistling for the flocks? Among the clans of Reuben there were great searchings of heart."

What a commentary on the condition of so many in our day, time, culture, ect... I take it that the author wanted me to notice, basically sandwiching the tribe of Reuben's story between two identical statements on inaction. I can just hear statements like, "I just don't know God's will for my life" or "I'm doing a lot of soul-searching right now." A lot of times these are valid, heartfelt, and real, but all the while, the battle is screaming on practically right outside your door. As a contemplative, I think I'm prone to this. I'm pretty content to spend my time reading , thinking, and conversing about what I've been reading and thinking. I do believe that ideas change the world, but this passage does remind me this morning that I need balance in this area, to know when its time to search my heart and when its time to get into the battle. I think its very beautiful when the contemplative feeds the communal and the missional. I also think it is very beautiful that God gifted me with a wife that leans the opposite direction, so that the tribe of Gentzel can be driven to fight the good fight through contemplative convictions. Hooray for Kerra Gentzel!!!

Redefining Ordinary Pt. II

2008-06-06T06:12:00.000-07:00

God redefined the ordinary when he took bread and wine and made them the centerpiece of the Lord's Supper. He also made the act of dunking someone in a lake sacred. Probably pretty normal for Jewish boys and girls. We all bathe. As I discussed on earlier this week, throughout the life of Jesus he was constantly taking ordinary things and making them extraordinary. He took normal guys and instilled in them the stuff that would flip an Empire upside down. He made the mundane meaningful. He redefined ordinary.

During the same conversation that Kerra and I were having my mind began to wander a bit. For some reason I was reminded of a friend from High School who graduated, went off to a Christian school, helped start a Christian non-profit and now by the looks of his facebook does something with club promotion and scantily clad women. Maybe its a ministry to scantily clad women. They need Jesus too.

Regardless, it got me to thinking about all the students that have filtered in and out of ministries I've led or been a part of. How someone can be so fired up for the Lord at one moment and then on the opposite end of belief six months later. How someone can stand for so much and then seem to stand for nothing soon thereafter.

And then it all synced up for me. Maybe the problem is found in the ordinary moments rather than the extraordinary ones. What if the Lord's Supper had something to say about what's happened in my life, how Jesus took something ordinary and made it extraordinary yes, but also how Jesus redefined ordinary in my life.

I couldn't help but think about my perception of sex and sexuality growing up. I don't know exactly how this happened, but while many of my peers slept with whomever they pleased, abstinence was the most normal thing I could imagine. It never struck me as strange or bizarre, just a wise decision to make toward God and my future wife. I had seen sex screw up a lot marriages, so it was sort of a no brainer. Now was it difficult? Certainly. But ordinary. At some point in my life, abstinence before marriage had become the norm. God had redefined ordinary in my life. In fact, if you look at it from the right angle he took something extraordinary and made it very normal.

And that's it! The great epiphany that I've been thinking on all week long. My job as a follower of Jesus is to help redefine ordinary in the lives of people. To take the common and make it sacred. Yes. But also in some strange way to take the sacred and make it common. To help people find a new balance between poles. To challenge them to live extraordinary, fun-loving, outward focused, Jesus centered, dangerous and adventurous lives and to help that kind of life become the most normal kind of life they could imagine. Its about pushing the envelope. Raising the bar. And then helping people see that as normal. Its about following Jesus' example with his disciples, empowering them consistently to the point where flipping the world upside down after pentecost seemed like the most natural and most logical thing they could do. Making the ordinary extraordinary by making the extraordinary accessible and yes, ordinary.

Redefining Ordinary Pt. 1

2008-06-03T07:52:00.000-07:00

I love Sundays when we take the Lord's Supper. I think I would be cool with serving it every week. Needless to say, this week we took the Lord's Supper at LHC and it was different. In such a big church it takes a while for the ushers to get to all the people, so being on first couple of rows, I had quite a bit of time to think about the blood and the body, the bread and the wine (grape juice). I spent a while remembering Jesus, his scourging, cross and my call to follow him in that. I asked God to help me be a Eucharist (good gift) to my world, to students, to my wife, to strangers, to my neighbors and friends, to the staff I work with. And then I just sat thinking and waiting for Mac to lead us through the elements. It was so meaningful to take the Lord's Supper at my new church.

On the drive home Kerra and I found our conversation steering towards the Lord's Supper again. I had been thinking a lot and something hit me for the first time. The Lord's Supper is something so ritualistic for us, uncommon and special in nature, probably as it should be, but for Jesus and his disciples and those who followed soon after, the Lord's Supper was so ordinary, common, and even the norm. I mean think about it, Jesus took the most common parts of a meal, the drinks and the bread and made from them something deeply sacred. The sacred has stayed with us, but I don't know if the common has. Those little wafers and grape juice are not the norm for any of us. In fact I would love to meet some people who enjoy Lifeway Wafers at a meal, with a glass of grape juice. But the bread and the wine were and are common at meals for those in the ancient past and the immediate present. That's why in the ancient Corinthian church Paul had to tell people to quit eating all the bread and getting drunk on the wine. They ate bread at every meal, and probably had wine as well. The elements of the Lord's Supper did not possess intrinsic sacred value. Jesus simply took something very ordinary, common-place, normal and made it sacred.

He redefined the ordinary.

Trinitarian Leadership

2008-05-19T08:34:00.000-07:00

I've felt it coming for a while.
I've even had conversations about it in the past,
but this past Sunday I think that God made it concrete in my heart.

I had the opportunity to join our worship team on Sunday in "big church." We had an excellent time, the name of Jesus was lifted up really high, and I sensed something about the worship team that I've often hoped for in ministry. It happened on stage, but it happened backstage in the green room as well. It took me by surprise and it started my day off in excellent fashion.

This team enjoys each other, loves on each other, encourages each other, and jokes with each other. They possess togetherness.
So it dawned on my about halfway through the second set that this group was simply inviting everyone else in the room into the togetherness with God and each other that was already happening in their midst. It seemed so authentic, magnetic, and easy to join.

It got me to thinking about God last night. How John 1:1 portrays a picture of God and Jesus, facing towards (pros) one another before the world began. About a God who exists in three eternal parts, always encouraging, always loving, always celebrating, and selflessly sharing in a cosmic and holistic togetherness. Then the beauty for us comes when God decides to share that togetherness with the us. How beautiful. How magnetic. What a strong message to the world of inclusion and love.

The simple truth that I'm learning from God and our worship team is that leadership must mirror the Trinity. We must position ourselves towards one another in such a way that we find ourselves simply inviting others into the good, loving, and beautiful thing that's already happening in our midst.

N.T. Wright

2008-05-02T07:41:00.000-07:00

I found a gold mine. Check it out.

www.ntwrightpage.com

All the N.T. Wright you could ever want.

The Great Divorce and Kanye West

2008-05-01T07:31:00.000-07:00

Last night Kerra and I were embarking upon a date when our friends Matt and Allison Spurlock called us with tickets to see Kanye West at the Frank Irwin Center. Presented with box seats, free food, and our first rap concert it was a no brainer: we were there. The concert was actually a lot of fun. We missed Lupe Fiasco, which bummed me out cause he's my favorite rapper, but N.E.R.D. and Rihanna were excellent. During the N.E.R.D. show I swear the energy was bananas. (bananas seems appropriate) And Rihanna can actually sing; no tracks, her voice, excellent. Lights. Dancers. Extremely complicated beats. And some really impressive performers.

So by the time Kanye came out we were highly impressed and excited to see what he would deliver. They started setting up his set and the thing was a monster. They built this landscape that looked like the moon and it was probably a little bit bigger than half-court in basketball. Behind the stage was this probably 100 by 40 foot high definition screen with a 20 by 20 screen built into the floor.

He came out and proceeded to invite us into a story about a man named Kanye West whose spaceship crashed on a desert planet and his only line of communication was with his spaceship Jane. It was somewhere between Castaway and Star Trek. I've got to hand it to him, Kanye is creative, cheesy but creative to put on a musical theatre using his own songs. I'm impressed.

What quickly dawned on me was that Kanye was the only person on stage, rapping his heart out. To be honest, it was highly entertaining for the most part. But nobody else ever came out on stage. Nobody. And I began to feel like Kanye wasn't even trying to connect with his fans. Now I'm probably wrong, but as Allison later added, "I've never seen such egocentrism in my life." Everything about it felt disconnected from the crowd. The way that his stage placed him at least fifty if not closer to a hundred feet away from his closest fans. The way he never really interacted, but rather acted throughout the show. The way he interacted with a mannequin alien and scantily clad projection, but never a human being. It was as if nobody else was there. In a room filled with thousands of people singing along, Kanye West was all alone. In acting out this isolated scenario on stage, he had effectively isolated himself from the crowd with a two hour long monologue.
It had to be either genius or complete egotism.

So being the N.E.R.D. that I am, I just couldn't help but think about C.S. Lewis' book, The Great Divorce. In the first part, Lewis depicts hell as this place where you can get anything you want but your never satisfied. A place where everything is a vapor. A place where egotism, self-promotion and selfishness leave people completely disconnected and alone. I feel like I sort of experienced that last night.

Toward the end, Kanye is still trying to get home and the only thing that can get him there is star power. Now the mannequin aliens tried to help but they couldn't. Their stars weren't bright enough. But Kanye's computer spaceship had an idea. The only thing that could get them home was the brightest star in the universe, and guess what that brightest star in the universe was? Jesus. Nope. He just walks. The brightest star in the universe was the one and only Kanye West. As the lighted stage lifted Kanye higher and higher, the brightest star in universe, I couldn't help but think, "You're the self-proclaimed brightest star in the universe, but really your just isolated and alone on top of that stage." As odd as it sounds, I felt sorrow for Kanye. Not bitterness or hate, just sorrow, that a man with such expansive influence would effectively isolate himself from his audience. On top of the world. An absolute genius. But disconnected, and alone.

Once, Twice, Thrice!!

2008-04-28T11:01:00.000-07:00

I have officially been to my first concert in the ATX. This past Wednesday I had the opportunity to see Thrice play at Stubbs.
Now I'm not much of Thrice fan but goodness, there is just something about a rock show that I can't deny.

People from all sorts of different backgrounds.

The energy coming off the stage and happily reciprocated by the crowd.

The thump of the bass pedal on my chest.

Even the many smells. There's nothing like it.

So again, Thrice is not my favorite band, but I had heard that they were Christian guys (but not a Christian band) and my buddy wanted to go. I admit I was extremely curious. Needless to say I was immensely impressed when about halfway through the show Thrice pulled back and played this song to a couple thousand people from all kinds of backgrounds with all kinds of creeds.
Here it is.

"Come all you weary with your heavy loads
Lay down your burdens find rest for your souls
Cause my yoke is easy and my burden is kind
I’ll take yours upon me and you can take mine

Come all you weary move through the earth
Surrounded by rest stones and kicked out of church
A couple of loaves sit down at my feet
Lend me your ears and break bread with me

Come all you weary
Come gather round near me
Find rest for your souls
(By the rest stones)

Come all you weary, crippled you lay
I’ll help you along you can lay down your canes
We’ve got a long way to go but we’ll travel as friends
The lights growing bright further on towards the end."

A beautiful song. In a beautiful place. To some of God's most beautiful people.

The Genius of Karl Barth

2008-04-22T08:15:00.000-07:00

Last night I was reading The Humanity of God by Karl Barth for class. I've read Barth before but one word he used or created really caught my attention. I'll let Barth speak for himself. The paragraph goes like this.

"But did it not appear to escape us by quite a distance that the deity of the living God-and we certainly wanted to deal with Him-found its meaning and its power only in the context of His history and of His dialogue with man, and thus in His togetherness with man? Indeed-and this is the point back of which we cannot go-it is a matter of God's sovereign togetherness with man, a togetherness grounded in Him and determined, delimited, and ordered through Him alone...Who God is and what He is in His deity He proves and reveals not in a vacuum as a divine being-for-Himself, but precisely and authentically in the fact that He exists, speaks, and acts as the partner of man, though of course as the absolutely superior partner. He who does that is the living God. And the freedom in which He does that is His divinity."

Togetherness, not community or fellowship, but togetherness. Interesting to think on ?

The Aliens and Richard Dawkins

2008-04-21T08:25:00.000-07:00

So I went to see Expelled, Ben Stein's new movie the other night. It was actually very refreshing.

The plot revolves around Stein's frustration with the scientific institution over a lack of freedom in regards to teaching or publishing arguments based on intelligent design. I enjoyed the fact that this movie wasn't about the scientific evidence supporting ID or Creationism. Instead it mainly dealt with freedom; a plot that I believe ignites conversation rather than extinguishing it. A much needed piece in uniting the right and the left.

I was especially intrigued by the discussion Stein had with popular Atheists. I may be completely errant in stating this, but I found it odd that many of these men would go so far as to call religion "evil." On one hand it broke my heart that they might choose aliens as the seed-planters, the originators of the species, over God. What has to happen inside someone that they would choose the former over the latter? Is it really all science or is there an element of experience involved? Is it pride? Is something the church did? Is it a cultural paradigm shift? Is it a backlash to the many scars religion has left on the collective conscience of our world? Aliens over Jesus?

On the other hand I struggle to understand the Atheistic view of morality. I always have. I probably always will. I respected the views of one Columbia professor who made no bones about following a completely evolutionary existence to its final end. I believe his progression went something like this. There's no God. Therefore, there' no controlling ethic. Therefore, there's no meaning to life. Therefore, there's absolutely no free will. Honestly if there's no God I think I agree.

But I do believe in God, and I have to ask question, if you follow that progression how then can religion be evil? How can anything be evil, or good for that matter? I know that in a relativistic world, morality is chosen rather than bestowed. I get that. But how can you call religion evil? And for that matter, in view of World War II, how can one blame all wars in history on religion? And for that matter, isn't belief that aliens planted the seed that put us here today just as much faith as believing that God did it?

So yes this movie was thought provoking, and honestly I really appreciated Richard Dawkins speaking cooly and confidently about what he believes, deciding to engage in a discussion that he knew wasn't bent in his direction. I think we could learn a lot from Dawkin's actions; taking on the attitude that there is no reason to react with anger, like an animal backed in the corner, when things we believe are questioned. We should possess the same cool, believing confidence that he does, because after all we believe that God created life packed with meaning, significance, and beauty, and it was good.

Community in the Digital Age

2008-04-09T07:24:00.000-07:00

I listened to a talk last night from Mars Hill, Grand Rapids by a fellow named Shane Hipps. Interesting. Challenging. A must listen for those wanting to live effectively in the digital age. You can listen at www.marshill.org/teaching.

The Void and Ben Gibbard

2008-04-03T13:01:00.000-07:00

For anyone who reads this blog; please subscribe to Paste Magazine right now.

With that said, I feel fortunate to have read an article this week in Paste by Death Cab for Cutie front man, Ben Gibbard. I was initially drawn to the article because he actually took the time to write the article; himself. I'll be honest I get tired of interviews. They always seem contrived, like the person responding hasn't had time to think about the questions. But Gibbard is both eloquent and well thought out in his writing.

Gibbard's article was fascinating on several levels.
1. His discouragement after a lack of inspiration while immersed in his hero, Jack Kerouac's experiece at Big Sur.
2. His thoughts on their new album.
3. His musings about having everything he ever wanted and still remaining dissatisfied.

He writes, "I find it very hard to accept the wonderful things in my life. My life really is great: I do exactly what I want to do for a living, I have a wonderful person to share life with, I have a great family, I have great friends. But somehow there's a void. I'm the last person who should be complaining or wondering why I'm perpetually unhappy. I would like to think that my lack of contentment is part of what makes my work the way it is, and for the better."

My first thought after reading his article was simple, "Ben, you need Jesus." But then I began thinking of all the Christians in the world who would say the same thing but really have similar lives. How often do we find ourselves claiming that we've found the magic bullet when in reality we're just as miserable, frustrated, and disillusioned as anybody else? I mean goodness I was talking to a coach the other day who made the statement that he hated when his private school played the Christian private school because the parents were all so angry and frustrated. Is our void filled? Have we got everything we ever wanted but still wonder why we're perpetually unhappy? It is as if we need to be saved every day. As if there's a void that is filled on some level when we accept Christ, but really we have to fill that void every day with Christ. Its a fascinating tension. I don't understand it fully. I wonder if we've yet to embrace the full ramifications of the Resurrection? I wonder if these questions have eschatological implications worked out only in the New Creation? If we've really embraced our identity as a people of hope? I wonder if the Jesus people so often want to offer to people like Ben is really Jesus at all, or rather some abstract filler that doesn't have anything to say about mine or Ben's life?

With all that said, I know that in my experience, Jesus is still the only thing that has ever filled or fills the void in my life? But it isn't abstract Jesus. Its the teachings, the life, the death, the resurrection, the person of Jesus who saved my life. Its Jesus Christ, the Incarnation of God who fills that void. And in all honesty I don't always allow him to. But, I know him to be loving and I know him to be the truest thing I've found. I guess what I really want to say is that I don't want to say things that are contrived or cliche. I want Jesus for Ben Gibbard, but not cause I'm supposed to, but because Jesus has means the world to me.

Jesus on a Flight from Chicago to Kansas City

2008-03-20T11:40:00.000-07:00

Ok so growing up I always heard about these guys and girls who would have these profound conversations on airplanes with the most unlikely people and then at the end of the flight the person would pray to give Jesus their life. To be honest I thought they were liars, and that something like that would never happen to me...but it did the other day, kind of.

Kerra and I were flying home from our trip to visit my best friend, Austin, in Connecticut. The honest truth is that I don't really like to fly. I mainly tolerate it to get where I need to be. After a flight from Providence to Chicago, we boarded another to Kansas City. (Its that whole Southwest debacle)

On the flight from Chicago to Kansas City we found ourselves sitting by a guy who seemed pretty normal. Probably 27, businessman, liked college hoops and the Chicago Cubs. (He lives five doors down from Wrigley!) About fifteen minutes into our flight he pulled out a copy of the book he was currently reading. The title read, "American Theocracy." Intrigued, I asked, "So what's that book about. Looks like something I'd like to read." He went on to explain his and the book's issues with the Religious Right in American and the effects they have had on the economy and government policy.

I shared that earlier in the day I had been at Roger Williams church, the first Baptist church in American history. We talked about the fact that Williams staunchly believed in Separation of Church and State, and that I held similar views. We talked for a bit about the Kingdom of God and how Jesus' idea for us wasn't control and power-over but instead something very different, service and love.

He told me that it was a little different hearing an evangelical from Austin saying these things and I could only respond with the encouragement that my friends and I are really just concerned with following Jesus and bringing his kingdom to this world. I added that in the kingdom we're often concerned with helping people rather than browbeating them, and that we really just want Jesus for people.

He talked about never finding anything like that in church growing up in Kansas City and then in Chicago. He had gone until college but then quit for the most part. He asked me if there were more people like me in the world.

I went on to tell him about my buddy Austin's church; a small gathering of people, who meet in a house and share the good news with their neighbors through service and loving conversation. He said, "I would really love to find a group like that to be a part of." I said that they're all over the place, you just have to look for them.

We were in our final decent by this point and the conversation trailed off as we got things in order to land. Just before we departed, we finally introduced ourselves. His name was Eric; Eric from Kansas City. As he left with a smile, I leaned toward him also with a smile and said, "Eric, I sincerely hope you find what you're looking for. There's a church out there for you." He said, "I hope so," nodded his head in gratitude and went on his way.

I'm not kidding, this moment was one of the proudest moments of my life, cause I feel like I made Jesus look good, like he was excited to have a relationship with this guy, and loved him dearly. I couldn't help but say thanks to Jesus afterward for changing my life and giving me something beautiful and truly good to say. Anyway God's really good, I have an airplane story now, and there it is.

Wet Foot, Mos Def, and the Story We Find Ourselves In

2008-02-28T10:02:00.000-08:00

As most of you know, I am an avid movie-goer. There are few things in this world that I enjoy more than taking my wife to a thought provoking flick. That's not to say that its her favorite thing, but she humors me. I remember this summer I saw previews for Be Kind Rewind, a movie about a video store gone wrong, staring Jack Black and Mos Def. I instantly knew that I had to see it. So as usual I charted its release and knew the exact location and time I wanted to see it. To make a long story short, some plans changed and I was set to see it on opening night at the Alamo Drafthouse. The problem with my plan came when I remembered that some good friends of mine were having an engagement party, and we were going to be back in town early enough to go. So of course we went, and it was great, but I still had that 10:05 showing in mind. We would leave their party at 9:30 and arrive just in time to catch a late dinner and a movie.

Needless to say, our plans changed. See the house we went to for this party was extremely contemporary in nature. Contemporary clocks, art, furniture, electronics, lights and backyard. I mean it: contemporary. So as Kerra and I enjoyed a stimulating conversation beside the pool with our friend John Branch, I realized that it was now time to make our gracious exit and book it to the movie. As those thoughts were entering my mind, I took a nonchalant step to my left and rather than finding my foot rested on what I though was grass, instead it sunk 12 inches into what I found was a shallow inlet between the hot-tub and the pool. That's right, in front of God and everyone, I stepped into the pool. Raising my soggy foot from those dark waters I quickly placed it, dripping, squarely next to one that was much drier. We had a laugh, and I realized that these friends were good friends, good enough to laugh out loud, but in a kind way; the way a friend does instead of acting cold or indifferent. I dried off, and by the time I felt comfortable walking into these people's house it was too late to catch the movie. That doesn't mean we didn't try. I drove possessed across Austin, one foot warm and one cold to add to the angst of being late, still hellbent on making it, and yet it just wasn't mean to be. We didn't make it. Be Kind Rewind would have to wait until another day...

Jeff Tweedy, Sex, and the Art of Finding Eden.

2007-07-16T08:27:00.000-07:00

So I've been revisiting a book I read a while back by this Catholic theologian named Ronald Rolheiser. The book is titled, The Holy Longing, and the chapter I just can't stop thinking about is dramatically titled "A Spirituality of Sexuality." In the chapter Rolheiser explains that what our culture calls sexuality is actually no more than genitality, only involving sexual intercourse and that things that lead to it. He goes on to address a true understanding of sexuality.

He starts with the word "secare," the latin root word for sex. Traditionally, "secare" means to be cut off, like a branch from a tree. True sexuality is all of creation's longing to reconnect with the whole. Therefore, Rolheiser explains, someone sworn to a life of celibacy, like Mother Theresa, is fantastically sexual, connecting the broken and dying to loving and caring people all over Calcutta. He goes on to assert that our culture, known for its sexuality, is in many ways not sexual at all, lacking the ability to connect on so many levels. Believe it or not, Americans may very well be sexually deprived, decieved by a reductionist understanding of sex.

Looking over at Genesis 2 we find God creating plants, animals, heavens, earth, waters, people ect... I find it so profound that the only thing God doesn't deem "good" is Adam's lack of human companionship. Therefore, God creates Eve out of Adam, also profound I think. So at the end of chapter 2, God has established harmoney between God and humans, human and human, and human and nature. Enters the Fall. The serpent throws a lot of craftiness at Eve, (notice that Satan is never used here to describe the snake) Eve eats the fruit, Eve talks to Adam, Adam eats the fruit, they both realize that they're naked and wallah, God enters the scene looking for his hiding humans. I find chapter 3 to be so telling of the human condition. After dialogue is established and the humans are discovered, Adam blames God for making Eve, Adam blames Eve for decieving him, and Eve continues on to blame the snake for decieving her. In an instant the harmony felt between Adam, Eve, God and Nature is obliterated. In essence they had all been sexed, cut off, disconnected.

In comes Jeff Tweedy. I was laying in bed one night watching and completely enjoying I might say the Sunken Treasure, Live in the Pacific Northwest DVD. During one of his interlude conversations Tweedy discusses his role as a servant of those he plays shows for. He goes on to talk about how happy concerts make people, but not just concerts, really any event when people can get together, these collective experiences that he assumes church should be like, if church was as it should be. I've thought a lot since about Tweedy's insight.

What if at every concert where people gather to hear their favorite bands something bigger than music is happening? What if all these people are just trying to connect to something bigger, to eachother, to the band, to God? What if all of us are just trying to get back to the Garden? What if every weekend, every club and stadium and bar were filled with people relentlessly working towards Eden? And its not just us working back toward the Garden. Its not just us who has been sexed. God has been working toward the garden as well. Through thick and thin, rebellion, deceit, joy and heartache he chased humanity all the way to the cross. And then brilliantly what started with a tree ended also with Jesus binded to a tree in sacrificial love.

So I was talking to a friend about all this the other day and he said, "You know Kirk, if that is an accurate understanding of sexuality, the church needs a lot more sex." I think he's right, and I think its bigger than just the church. We all need to reconnect with eachother, with nature, and with God, and I think Jesus might want to teach us how.

Sufjan Stevens and the Unasuming Power of the Digital Parable

2007-07-09T20:44:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot today about the idea of digital parables in film, television, painting, dance, poetry, prose, and especially music.

I've recently been reading books by William Placher and Gregory Boyd. In both Narratives of a Vulnerable God, Letters from a Skeptic and The Myth of a Christian Nation, Boyd and Placher suggest that love is the fundamental characteristic of God and the fundamental basis of reality in the Kingdom of Heaven. Thus our freedom is extremely important to God. He doesn't coerce us into a relationship with Him and we are granted the ability to choose good or evil and thus live with the consequences of both our own and other's decisions.

In light of the cross, Jesus demonstrates what Boyd calls the "power under" way of power: the way of service, suffering and sacrifice. (I hate alliteration) Coersion, Manipulation, and Dominence are not the way of the Kingdom of Heaven. In love, we, like Jesus take up the towell of service and love.

So what does this have to do with digital parables? Well it seems that Jesus told his parables in such a way as to make people go deeper with the story, wrestle with it, take hold of it, and let it change their lives. Though they did demand an action, the parables weren't propositional commands. They were stories.

My entire life I've been bombarded with "Christian" music. I am certainly a recovering 90's youth ministry kid. Like many I was told that secular music was bad and Christian music was good. In recent years though I've bucked that trend and found that the secular music I once loathed is really incredible. At first I decided that I liked U2 because it was safe, but now one of my favorite hobbies is to find undiscovered bands on iTunes. The so called secular bands just seem to write better stories. And today it all came together for me.

In comes Sufjan Stevens. I realized today as I thought about digital parables that Sufjan Stevens is one of the best at telling a true or parabolic story through song. The Decemberist and Bright Eyes are also pretty good. But today as I thought back about why I struggled to like Christian music I found that much of the Christian music I listened to in my formative years really did the opposite of parable or narrative. I scarcely remember original narrative or even unoriginal narrative. There was talk of the cross but it was often propositional, pulling it out of the story or making it about America or something. Really though the issue I'm having is the subtle leaning in much of "Christian" music to control listeners. Like we've lost the art of telling a good story, or writing a thought provoking poem and replaced it with straightforward uncreative instruction. Believe this. Think this way. And so on and so forth. I'm reminded of Stephen Curtis Chapman telling me to "Saddle up my horses." The reason I think Sufjan gets away with so much spiritual content in his music, is because he isn't telling people what to think. He's telling a story and allowing his listeners to wrestle with and think what they want. He isn't trying to control them. Instead he gives them the kind of freedom that comes through love.

So in conclusion, as I continue to write, I feel as though the days of trying to control or command through lyrics are over for me, and days of the modern day digital parable and narrative have begun.